whew.

What. A. Week. this has been.

The first week of the semester is always a frenzy, for me at least. I worked nonstop on Sunday and Monday to prepare for teaching 2 classes. Thank goodness it was a course I've taught before, but still there are always things to rethink and improve upon. Kaizen is a part of my manifesto, after all. So it was still tons of work. Note to self: Procratinate less!!! (But sometimes I think I do better under pressure too, so who knows...)

Now that it's Friday, this is where I want to be right now:

photo by cheeksandchubs - love this feeling of quiet and mystery...

So, unfortunately no new recipes or interesting stories to share this week.

I slept GREAT for 2 nights in a row this week - went to bed around midnight and got up at 7 am. A milestone for this gal who on most nights fall asleep at 3 am. Except last night I couldn't stop thinking again, and fell asleep around 2:30. Ugh.

Hope to do some fun cooking this weekend... a big pan of dense, fudgy brownies are in order. I sense a chocolate emergency coming up. Oh, but I also have some plums I want to bake into a buttermilk cake...half a canteloupe that I'd like to make into a granita or sorbet...

Decisions, decisions.


Happy Friday... And happy long weekend, for those of you on this side of the pond.

a whole new meaning to "busy"

I recently read a couple of bloggers talk about this concept of "being busy" (here and here). How we tend to respond with "good, but busy" when asked how we are; how in this culture "being busy" equates to thriving, successful, fulfilled... and how we tend to wear our busyness as "badges of honor" - a "boast disguised as a complaint" (Kreider). And although on one hand, busyness is a natural part of living; we all need to take care of family, make a living, pay the bills, exercise, make time for ourselves, etc etc... And there are those who are really and truly, genuinely busy. But it also makes me wonder how I add things to my plate to perpetuate this constant busyness. When in reality, some things that keep me "busy" are self-imposed and unnecessary, and removing them from my life would create "sacred space" or downtime to let me linger over a cup of tea.

Last week a friend of mine asked me to babysit her 2-month old daughter, as she started at her job and had to be away all day for the first time. I was honored that they trusted me. I thought, oh, I can bring a boatload of work; she's just going to eat, poop, and sleep. I'm going to get tons of work done. No biggie.

WRONG. I think the only productive work (meaning my own work) I did in my 8 hours of babysitting was to add one page to my syllabus for teaching this fall.

Somehow, the hours seemed to fly by as I played with her (I couldn't get enough of her smiling and cooing), fed her, burped her, changed her diaper, soothed her when she fussed, and rocked and bounced her to sleep. Oh, and speaking of diaper changing... why is it that babies poop just minutes after you change a wet/soggy diaper? So I felt her diaper, thought it was time for a change, went over to change her then set her down on her boppy pillow. Minutes later, she pooped big-time, and gave me a big gummy smile. The joke was on me. :)

thought this was pretty funny (image source)

So yes, time just flew. Adding one page's worth of work and reading 2 (short) chapters was a milestone.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. It was fun, albeit tiring - though I didn't realize I was tired till that evening when I got home. I've always been humbled by mothers who do it all so well. Well, I'm humbled by mothers in general. I know this isn't revelatory, bu moms are busy, no doubt about that. How do you do it???

So I did squeeze in a bit of work. Sure I was busy taking care of little Beatrice. And sure I had tons of work left to do.  But the thing is, it was a different kind of busy. Time ceases to matter when a tiny infant falls asleep on your chest. It's an entirely different feeling. I thought, forget about work. Just be fully present with this tiny, precious human being who, at this moment, depends on me completely. There you have it - sacred space.



PS: Interestingly, I woke up with very sore arms the next morning. While I knew I wasn't in great shape, I didn't think I was in terrible shape either. But I'm discovering that the strength needed for multiple chaturangas (yoga version of a push-up) and bakasanas doesn't quite compare to the strength needed for caring for a growing baby all day. Like I said: how do you moms do it?

panzanella and warm marinated olives

We've been getting a lot of different tomatoes lately, including grape tomatoes, yellow pear tomatoes, and beautiful heirloom tomatoes. It truly is one of the best things about summer. If I were really smart about this, I would have turned all these wonderful tomatoes into a marinara sauce to freeze and save for the winter ahead, but lately I just can't help myself. I can't stop eating them! Whether sliced and doused with olive oil and basil...



Or in a sandwich, with a schmear of mayonnaise, coarse sea salt, and lots of cracked black pepper...



Or in panzanella, which is an Italian bread and tomato salad. All this salad needs day-old crusty bread, and gorgeous tomatoes and fresh basil, and just a simple vinaigrette dressing. I made mine a little differently based on what I had in the kitchen; you can always play around with the ingredients. Maybe swap feta for the fresh mozzarella (it may not be traditional, but it's good!). Maybe add some shallots. Do what you like!

Panzanella

For the bread:

• a little shy of half a loaf of day-old, crusty artisan bread
• olive oil
• salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Slice the bread into cubes (about half an inch or so). I would estimate that I had about 4 cups of cubed bread (maybe!). Spread onto a baking sheet pan, then drizzle olive oil on top - not a lot, just a little bit to help the bread brown nicely. Season with salt and pepper. Toss everything together with your hands to distribute the olive oil, then bake for about 10-12 minutes until they are crunchy and golden brown around the edges.

This may seem like an unnecessary step; you might be thinking, why toast it and let it get crunchy only to soak it in dressing later? But I think letting it toast in the oven lets it dry out even further so that it can soak up all that flavorful dressing more.

For the rest of the salad:

• lots of tomatoes - I used one very large heirloom tomato, one medium red tomato, and about 10 sun-dried tomatoes, rehydrated in hot water for 10 minutes, then chopped (sun-dried tomatoes aren't necessary here, but I like them)
• 1 large garlic clove
• 1 small onion (shallots would have been better, but I didn't have any), chopped small; about 1/4 cup
• about 1/2 cup of fresh mozzarella, in small cubes
• about 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• about 1/4 cup of your best extra virgin olive oil
• salt and pepper
• lots of fresh basil

While the bread is in the oven, make the dressing. In a large bowl, mix the red wine vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper (you can season generously as this makes a large salad!) Mince the garlic clove with a little salt - whenever I use garlic for a raw preparation, I like to do it this way because the salt helps break down the garlic a little bit. Chop the onion (or shallot). I didn't want raw onions in here as they might overpower the tomatoes, so I decided to roast the onion slightly in the oven as well (the oven was already hot anyway!) to sweeten them a bit and make them less pungent - probably not even 10 minutes. If I had shallots, I probably wouldn't have roasted them as they are more mellow than regular onions. Add the roasted onions (or shallots) to the dressing.

Chop the tomatoes and add them (including any tomato juice that collects on your cutting board) to the bowl. Add the crunchy bread as well, and toss everything together so that the bread soaks up the dressing. Toss in the fresh mozzarella, and simply tear the fresh basil leaves over the bowl.

Check for seasoning, and adjust as necessary. Allow the salad to sit for about 10 minutes (it gets better!), if you can wait that long :)

The salad was a study of contrasting textures and flavors: croutons softened by a slightly tangy, fruity olive oil dressing, plump, juicy tomatoes at the peak of their sweetness, chewy sun-dried tomatoes, and mild, creamy mozzarella, and fresh, sweet basil. Yum. As I was eating it, I was already thinking about how much I would enjoy the leftovers for lunch the next day. I know. I think ahead like that. 

This was an easy weeknight dinner, along with some warm marinated olives - simply a mix of a variety of olives from Whole Foods' antipasto bar, which I packed into a glass jar (with the olive oil it comes in), and set into a small pot of simmering water for about 20-30 minutes. This was inspired by a visit to Flour (a nearby Italian restaurant) last weekend. Warm marinated olives are a part of their appetizer list; and interestingly, we never ordered them before, thinking, oh, it's just olives - I can have them at home anytime, why would I order it at a restaurant? But we decided to get them on our last visit and it was a revelation. We were in olive heaven (a little dramatic, I know).  I've always loved olives. Little did I know that enjoying them warm takes them to a whole other level. (I'm not the last one to learn about this, am I?) Letting them sit in a hot water bath allows the flavors to bloom, and it's just worlds better than the usual cold olives in typical antipasto platters. I guess it's a similar concept as letting cheeses sit at room temperature for a little bit - not serving it straight out of the fridge - before enjoying it on a cheese platter. Believe me. Give it a try. You'll never go back to cold olives.

Filipino mung bean stew (vegetarian version)

I have to (embarrassingly) admit that, for as much as I love to cook, I don't cook a whole lot of Filipino food. Many of the "classic" Filipino dishes are meat-based, like the popular adobo which is a stew of pork or chicken, slow-cooked in vinegar, soy sauce, lots of garlic, and black peppercorns. They say that there are as many versions of adobo as there are Filipino households, and I don't doubt that. But this is not a post on adobo; rather it's about the humble mung bean stew.

I know many of us might not want to say goodbye to summer and think of stews just yet. But I'm starting to feel a little chill in the air now during my after-dinner walks with A. Fall is in the air, folks. At least in the Cleveland air, that is. :)

Given my love for lentils, mung bean stew is frequently part of our rotation of legume dishes. It's cheap, protein- and fiber-packed, and so good for you.

I make a very different version from what you might encounter in non-vegetarian Filipino households. In the traditional version(s), you'll see bits of pork and maybe tiny shrimp, perhaps the flavor of shrimp paste and/or fish sauce. Some add a chile pepper for a little spice; some add a little greens. I think the traditional version also calls for fish sauce as a seasoning; although I have started to eat fish 1-2 times a week now, A. doesn't, so I use a low-sodium tamari instead (or any reduced-sodium soy sauce). Balsamic vinegar is not a traditional ingredient, but I find that it works in here. Lemon juice would work too, but I like the sweet-tart flavor of balsamic vinegar.

It does take a bit of advanced planning to soak the mung beans 24-30 hours, or at least four hours; although you can cook mung beans without soaking, soaking makes it so much faster to cook. I actually soak mine at least overnight to about 30 hours, at which point you'll start seeing the white insides of the mung beans begin to push out of the green covering. Soaking and sprouting makes them more digestible as well. For those of you who are not used to consuming large amounts of legumes or lentils, this is really helpful in reducing your chances of... you-know-what. You're welcome.

Of course, before doing that just make sure you sort the beans, picking out any pebbles or unwanted items - easiest to spread it out on a light colored dish or baking sheet pan. Then rinse a few times before soaking, and if you are doing a long soak, change the water a couple of times. After soaking the mung beans will have plumped up. Even if you just start out with a cup of dried mung beans, it will triple in volume at least after a long soak, so in the end this recipe can probably serve 4.

Filipino-Style Mung Bean Stew (vegetarian)

• olive oil - a healthy glug (I'm offically making that a technical culinary term now), enough to cover the bottom of the pot
• half a large onion, chopped
• half a head of garlic, chopped (I know... I'm pretty unapologetic about my use of garlic. Except before yoga class.)
• 1 medium tomato, chopped
• 1 cup mung beans, soaked 24-30 hours (or at least four hours), then drained and rinsed
• water or vegetable broth
• tamari or soy sauce - I think I used 3 or 4 tablespoons
• balsamic vinegar - about a tablespoon
• salt and pepper

In a heavy-bottomed pot, heat olive oil over medium heat. Saute the onion, garlic, and tomatoes (the trio that makes up the traditional sofrito, or the basis of many Filipino dishes) with a little salt and pepper. Once the onions are soft and the tomatoes have broken down, add the mung beans, and pour in enough water or vegetable broth to cover the mung beans by about an inch.

Bring it to a boil, then cover and lower the heat to a simmer. Let it cook until the mung beans are soft. Season with tamari or soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, and pepper (be sure to taste for saltiness after adding the tamari or soy sauce). The stew should be somewhat thick; if it's too watery, continue simmering uncovered to reduce the liquid. I like mine pretty thick, as you can tell from the photos below; but you can just cook it until you get the consistency you want.

I'm not sure if this is traditional, but for extra nutrition I sometimes add some chopped leafy greens (spinach or kale) at the end, and cook through briefly till they wilt. 

And because I'm also unapologetic about my use of olive oil, serve the mung beans in bowls with a drizzle of good olive oil. I don't think that's traditional either, but I learned that from my late grandfather, who liked to drizzle olive oil over his bean stews. We Filipinos typically eat this with rice, but A. enjoys it with roti (Indian flatbread). It actually works out that way too. We are a Filipino-Indian household, after all.

A few notes...
~ The napkin in the upper right photo above is from betsygrace on Etsy. I splurged on this set of rustic linen embroidered napkins and asked for a custom set embroidered with "welcome" in different languages, but I asked for Filipino and Hindi as well to represent mine and my husband's language and culture. "Kain" actually literally translates to "eat" in Filipino. This is how we welcome people into our home; we don't say "welcome", we invite them to eat. :)

~ Here is a great book on Filipino food: Memories of Philippine Kitchens by Amy Besa and Romy Dorotan. Gorgeous photos and lovely stories about the history of Filipino food. 

~ Here is an informative and entertaining blog on Filipino food: Burnt Lumpia

~ My friend Dianne writes much more about Filipino food than I do, such as in this post.

Update on 11.12.12:
I made mung bean stew again tonight, and I added something to a whole other level: homemade garlic confit! It was SO.GOOD. I had some leftover garlic confit that I made last week, so at the last minute I decided to add some. While we were eating the stew, every now and then we would find these creamy, soft, sweet garlic cloves in our bowl, which we then mashed into the stew. Yum.

Here are a few recipe sources for garlic confit:
Epicurious - just garlic and olive oil
Food and Wine - garlic, olive oil, thyme, and chiles 

this should be my uniform

image source

Case in point.

#cakeforbreakfast

not your typical green beans... and a recipe for loubie bzeit

I know it must seem like I don't eat anything else but shortbread, ice cream, and cake, but I do eat real food. I mean non-dessert food. I promise. If in doubt, check out my food page here, and you'll see some variety in what I eat, beyond dessert.

Recently we got these beautiful dragon's tongue beans in our weekly produce bag from Fresh Fork Market.



Aren't they pretty? I love the purple striations against yellow. I've never cooked or tasted these before, so I was really excited thinking about what to make with them.

Unfortunately, after some reading on the Internet I found out that the purple striations disappear after cooking. Sad! Just like how the striations in Chioggia beets disappear after cooking as well.

At any rate, I suddenly thought of the Lebanese dish called Loubie Bzeit - a slow-cooked green bean stew with tomatoes, onion, garlic, tomato and spices. 

We also had these gorgeous tomatoes, which I thought would be perfect for this dish. I know - sometimes I think it's a crime to cook summer tomatoes, when they are at their juiciest and sweetest state best enjoyed as is, sprinkled with a little sea salt to bring out their sweetness, or in a caprese salad with basil and creamy, fresh mozzarella or the even more indulgent burrata.

However, A. also recently started requesting heartier "cooked" meals besides the light/raw summer salads I've been preparing. And you know me - when I get a culinary request, I deliver. Except when he almost threatened (in a good way) to enter me into the Food Network's Chopped. Highly unlikely as I don't have a single competitive bone in my body. And, forget about competing, I might just (shamelessly) join the judges at the judges' table and sample all the delicious meals cooked that day.

Anyway, I digress, as always... the stories just somehow sneak their way into my recipe writing.

So here's the recipe. I don't know if it's perfectly authentic...lest I offend any Lebanese cooks out there. Let's just say it's my version. Feel free to play around with the measurements; the spice measurements are only approximations as I didn't measure precisely. When in doubt, start with a small amount; you can always add more later.

Loubie Bzeit

• 1 lb green beans or, in my case, dragon's tongue beans, washed, trimmed, and sliced into 1-inch pieces (no need to be too precise here)
• olive oil - a generous glug, enough to cover the bottom of the pan
• half a large onion, chopped
• ground cinnamon - about 1/4 teaspoon
• ground allspice - about 1/2 teaspoon
• ground cumin - about a 1/4 teaspoon
• half a head of garlic, peeled and cloves left whole, or cut in halves if they are large cloves (I know it sounds like a lot of garlic, but I promise this makes it so good)
• 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
• salt and pepper
• a pinch of sugar

Heat olive oil in a heavy-bottomed skillet, over medium heat. Saute the onion with a little salt and pepper (season as you go!) until soft. Add the cinnamon, allspice, and cumin; saute to bring out the flavors, but be sure to keep scraping the bottom so the spices don't burn or stick. Add the tomatoes (and any tomato juice that collects on your cutting board) and the garlic, and let cook until the tomatoes break down somewhat and the garlic infuses the tomatoes. Add the beans, season again with a little salt and pepper as well as a pinch of sugar, then add about 1/4 cup of water to help soften the beans. Cover the pan, then once the sauce is bubbling lower the heat to let it cook gently.

Unfortunately I didn't time how long this took - I would say at least 15 minutes after the beans are in, but possibly more (I should be better at noting these things down!). The beans should be very soft, but not mushy, and the sauce should have thickened (but it shouldn't be too saucy). If the liquid is too thin or watery, let it simmer uncovered to reduce the liquid. The garlic should be soft as well. Check for seasoning and adjust as needed.

Serve with steamed basmati rice or crusty bread for mopping up the delicious sauce. The beans were soft and sweet, but not overly so; the tomato flavor made more complex by the spices.

As A. is my daily food critic, I always ask: "Do you like it enough for me to make it again?" To that he mumbled, yes, in between mouthfuls.

I had the leftovers for lunch today, and discovered it's good even when cold or at room temperature as well.

Going...

Going...

...gone!

redirecting the self-talk

Hindu temple, Ujjain, India | May 2012

"When we judge ourselves, we break our own hearts."

Something I've been thinking about after hearing a yoga teacher talk about this last week... so I'm committing to observe my thinking - whether I'm judging myself or not - for the next few days. Anyone care to join me?

I know it won't be perfect (aaack, judging again... see? Case in point.). I know I'll slip up and find that I'm judging myself. It's so easy to do. But it can be so destructive - the more we judge ourselves, the more we stay in the shadow of negativity and doubt. 

So when it does happen, I'll try to just observe what I'm thinking, rather than judge.

Then I'll let it go.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

We'll see...