snapshots from India

Just got back from a 2-week trip to India in December/January. We made it back home towards the end of this epic polar vortex, so thankfully we didn't experience significant delays coming back.

We traveled to Jaipur, which is in the state of Rajasthan in northwest India.

We took a train ride first from A.'s hometown to Sawai Madhopur, which took close to 6 hours. Traveling by train in India is an experience. It's the real-deal India, A. says. In my opinion, it's where you experience the fervor and intensity of India. I don't know if fervor and intensity are the best words to capture it, but it's how I (as an outsider) would describe the experience. You take it all in - the rush, the crowds, the sounds, the sights, the fully saturated colors.

As we went farther away from the city and into the countryside, I saw this for miles and miles:

(Side note: I believe that is A.'s niece you hear talking in the video. She loves the expression "Arrey!" - their equivalent of "Hey!")

The yellow flowers are the flowers of the mustard plant. Indian cuisine relies heavily on the tadka, which refers to spices - including black mustard seed - tempered in hot oil. Tadka is then added to flavor dishes such as dal (lentils), vegetable stir-fries, and stews.

We spent one night in Sawai Madhopur:

India has no shortage of forts, one of which being Ranthambore Fort. While exploring the fort, we were treated to this beautiful sunset:
I saw an area that has multiple piles of rocks. I asked A. what they were, and he said that they symbolized people's wishes and prayers. People would pile rocks into these tower-like formations, as you can see below.

I saw a man and a woman who seemed that the were measuring something on the ground using the length of their bodies. It was something I had never seen before. A. explained that some people pray so fervently and promise God that if their prayer is answered, they would travel the entire length of the fort all the way to the temple at the end, not on foot but by laying on the ground. The man and the woman each laid down on his/her side, extended an arm up to mark the spot, then stood up and laid down again starting from the spot where their hand reached (does that make sense? I thought of taking a video, but decided against it as I thought it may be disrespectful - it seemed like such a sacred act). They did this again and again, as they promised. It's indescribable, and yet again an illustration of the fervor and intensity of India.   

The next morning we went on an animal safari from an open truck. It was so cold that we bundled up in our jackets, shawls, and woolen blankets. We saw deer, spotted deer, and antelope. Unfortunately I don't have a lens with good enough zoom for wildlife photography, so I don't have visuals to share on that one...

We then drove about 3 hours to Jaipur, where we spent 4 days. I loved the many patterns and colors in the decor of our hotel:

Aside from forts, India has no shortage of palaces either, particularly those built during the Mughal empire.

 

Apparently, I have a thing for doors, windows, and arches. But how could you not with such amazing architecture?

A.'s niece and nephew

A random window, spotted while driving in Jaipur:

Another illustration of the vibrant color in India:

This was my first Christmas spent away from my immediate family. Prior to the trip, I wondered what Christmas would be like in India. My in-laws, once again, continue to amaze me with their graciousness. My sister-in-law and niece chose a Christmas present for me, a figurine of the Blessed Mother and Child. They even took me to church for Christmas.

On our previous trip to India in 2012, we went to Agra and visited (yet another) fort/palace built during the Mughal empire. (I realize I haven't even organized my pictures from last year's trip!) There was a pillar that caught my attention, due to its many intricate patterns.

The guide explained, each row of patterns symbolizes one of the world's great religions (in no particular order): Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam. Each pattern was so intricate, so precise - the level of detail is just incredible. The Mughal emperor at the time was a progressive-minded one, to showcase a design that captured the great religions in a pillar supporting a structure. Quite symbolic.

The names of the forts, palaces, emperors, and other historical details all start to blur for me, but what struck me most is this idea of connection. It's all there - the connections, the sameness - as A. and I figure out our interfaith life, it's all about the connections between the unique histories and cultures of our respective families.

"Travel is not always about newness, sometimes the beauty of travel is in discovering connections rather than the differences." - Eram Agha

discombobulated

...is what I'm feeling today.

You know how there are just certain words that sound just like what they mean? Discombobulated is one of them.

Ok so I have to say right from the start that I don't really have a point today other than the fact that I'm feeling out of sorts, and I can't put my finger on why.

But even if I don't have a real point, I thought I'd write here, as it calms me.

I feel tired yet restless, if those two could even co-exist.

My sleep routine got messed up again this week - I was doing so well for almost a month - getting to bed and waking up at decent hours like a normal human being. Then one day this week I started overthinking about a decision I made, and then the tossing and turning came back. 

The sun is shining today, and typically when the sun comes out I'm practically running out the door to be outside and soak it all in, since sunshine has been in short supply for several months.

And then I see these words:

"It's only cold if you don't let the sunshine in."

(from Unmiserable Cleveland's facebook page)

It's always a choice.

As I write, I'm starting to feel some motivation coming back in.... I'm going to hit "Publish", tie up my shoes and head out. It would be a shame to waste a sunny (albeit still cold) day like this. 

So maybe I did have a point after all.

Fatehpur Sikri, Agra, India | December 2012

plans derailed

So I had all these plans of making a nice meal for tonight. Warm marinated olives, spaghettini with garlic, arugula, lemon zest, and pine nuts (a dish in our regular pasta rotation, and one of A.'s favorites), and chocolate chai pots de creme - essentially a French-style custard or pudding, made with some good quality chocolate and chai spices (cardamom, ginger). We first had this chocolate chai pots de creme at one of our visits to the Greenhouse Tavern two years (minus 5 days) ago. I don't think I ever posted pictures of that meal...and I thought today would be a good time to go down memory lane.

Greenhouse Tavern dinner, two years ago. Clockwise from left: bread and housemade ricotta, grilled padron peppers (with lots of garlic! How's that for a romantic meal), tofu, and "very very very spicy greens n' beans". Apparently my photography style at that time was influenced by the misconception that I should get as close as humanly possible to the food all the time. Ha!

After a delicious meal, we decided to just split one dessert. It was so good, that we decided to order another, stat. Much to the amusement of the server, listening to us claim we were already so full and yet couldn't help ourselves.

Left: chocolate chai pots de creme. Right: each table has a bottle of water like this. No more waiting for the server to come around and refill your glass!

And actually, if my food memory serves me right, this is the weekend he proposed... (ok, so my memories revolve around food... don't judge.)

And then I decided to re-create the chocolate chai pots de creme at home, and A. said it was even better (he's sweet like that). And since chai is such a big part of his food culture, being Indian, he just LOVED this.

[Side note. Please, for the love of all that is delicious, it is not "chai tea" because chai = tea, so the "chai tea" that you see in coffee shops is like "tea tea". That was one of the first lessons in Hindi that I learned. (End rant.)]

So anyway... that was my plan for today. We really don't do anything elaborate on V-day - we don't do expensive gifts and fancy dinners out. I usually just like to cook/bake something delicious for dinner. Unfortunately, this is the second day of my cold (ugh). Four cups of tea and half a box of tissues later, and I am resigned to this stuffy feeling in my head. I wanted to go to a yoga class this morning for some self-care, but that got derailed as well because my almost-incessant sneezing will be very distracting to everyone else.

If I had all my ingredients, I would have gone through with my plans, but on this freezing day I really didn't feel like going out to the grocery store with this cold, headache, and body aches. So instead, A. said he would get soup and sushi on his way home from work. When I'm sick, there's nothing better than miso soup. So takeout it is. 

At least I have a really great greeting card to give him...

It doesn't always have to be grandiose displays of love. Although I must say, this is quite spectacular:

The Mughal emperor Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal really must have had something special. 

But... so do we. Thank you, A.

(Photos taken during our recent trip to India last December)

lessons from India

I'm savoring a little quiet time now, to finally write after the many thoughts and emotions are now settling down, like residual tea leaves on the bottom of a teacup.  I thought I'd list some of my observations about this new place that I've learned about...

Lesson #1: Personal space does not exist. And it's nothing personal.

We arrived in Mumbai, India late in the evening of May 5th. We took a car to the hotel we had booked for a little respite (and much-needed shower) so that we could feel a bit more refreshed before our next flight early the next morning. After having experienced  the relatively more orderly roads and highways in the US, driving in India to me felt like absolute mayhem. I thought I wouldn't be surprised by it given the traffic conditions I was used to growing up in Manila. But this was an entirely different beast. Given my anxious tendencies, I don't think I would have it in me to drive here. I don't think the video below fully captures it (this was not in Mumbai but in a smaller city) but you'll hear lots of honking. I think this shows the traffic conditions on a good (unusual) day. I wish I took a video in Mumbai... but I was so overwhelmed coming out of the airport after a long-haul flight.

But somehow, it works. Even if only a mosquito could fit between your car and the pedestrian, or the rickshaw, or motorcycle, or the other car. Somehow, people get to where they need to be. It means though that you hear someone honking his horn probably every 1.32 seconds. Which is why this truck - like many I saw on the road - has a sign that reads "BLOW HORN" - to let them know you are near.

Also, when lining up for anything (e.g. security checks at the airport) you are left with very little space between your backside and the person behind you. But again - somehow, it just works.

Lesson #2: Everything starts with a cup of tea.

Chai, as they call it. Not "chai tea," by the way because chai = tea. (One of the things A. explained to me years ago, in my first immersion into Indian culture when I met - and made friends with - Indians at U.C.)

The day starts with chai in the morning. And again in the afternoon. And maybe even sometime before or after dinner. And if a guest drops by, that warrants another cup. Indians can have chai even on the hottest summer day.

Oh, and it's not in supersized cups mugs bowls as we have gotten used to in coffee shops around here. They are in small, demitasse-size cups, like the one above.

Even when we shopped for saris, the shopkeeper offered us some chai.

My mother-in-law makes chai with black tea, fresh milk (delivered every morning!), sugar, and a little grated ginger.

Lesson #3: The many ways to make Indian bread, given an addition of an ingredient or two and a change in the rolling technique or cooking method.

Roti. Naan. Paratha. Puri.

roti dough resting before being rolled out

If it's cooked over the stove - dry - then it's roti.

roti cooked in a tawa (flat pan)

They also put the roti directly over the fire so that it gets nice deep brown marks. Then it puffs up and then flattens again.

If it's rolled with ghee (clarified butter), folded, then rolled again (usually into a triangle shape, but they also make other interesting shapes like spiral ones), and then cooked over the stove with ghee - then it's paratha. Paratha can also be stuffed with a variety of ingredients like spiced potatoes, paneer (homemade cheese), or methi (fenugreek). Plain parathas with sauteed vegetables is the typical breakfast.

paratha

(Oh, and when I offered my first paratha to my father-in-law, he gave me 100 rupees as a little gift, as is their tradition. :) )

If it's deep fried, then it's puri.

If it's cooked in a clay oven, it's naan. And most interesting of all:

If it's mixed with ghee, shaped into a mound (instead of rolled flat), cooked in boiling water and then cooked on the ambers of dried cow dung, it's called bafla.

bafla, in the center of the plate

Lesson #4: Rolling round rotis. 

This requires an artful technique of being able to respond to the dough with just the right touch, pressure, and weight on the rolling pin. Knowing what side of the rolling pin on which to put more weight - ever so slightly - so that the dough, slowly becoming flatter and thinner, almost moves in a circle as you roll.

 Mine would never come out perfectly round, but my mother-in-law's and sister-in-law's rotis always do (as you can see above). Then again, they do make this every single day.

Lesson #5: Slow food.

It seemed like there was something going on in the kitchen ALL the time. Everything was made from scratch. Without a recipe, just by feel.

My mother-in-law takes the cream that settles on the top of the container of fresh milk that they get delivered every morning. She collects the cream for 14 days until she has enough, then she makes butter out of it. Then she clarifies it to make ghee. I wasn't there long enough to see the process happen... maybe next time.

They also make their own chutneys, crunchy snacks for the kids, fruit drinks, desserts...in addition to 3 meals and a tea time snack.

Lesson #6: Seeing my husband play with his niece and nephew, and hearing him change his voice to a child-like voice to talk to them - it makes my heart skip a beat.

Not that I was all that surprised.

(This is not the sweetest photo I have of A. playing with his nephew and niece, but he's a bit iffy about having his pictures posted here - unless it's a not-so-in-your-face angle like this one)


Lesson #7: Quote from A.: "Indians live for 3 things. Weddings, Bollywood, and cricket."

Our wedding #3 was an amazing experience. There were 700 people! Which, believe it or not, is small by Indian standards; A.'s older brother had over 2,000 people.

No, that is not a Bollywood set or concert stage that we happened to stumble upon and re-purpose for our wedding. It's an actual "wedding stage" - in which the couple greets the 700 (or 3,000, as the case may be) guests who come up to the stage to extend their wishes and offer presents.

And - the brighter the better. The more colorful, the better. 

Lesson #8: Bring on the bling.

Married women have to have a number of things on them to signify that they are married. The bhindi (on the forehead), the bangles on both arms, the mangal sutra (necklace with black beads), paayal (ankle bracelets) and the toe rings. Whew! Quite a departure from my usual minimal accessorizing.

Not just for a wedding...

thank goodness these are not real diamonds

 But even on a regular day.

glass bangles

Lesson #9: Learning Hindi

Hindi is a pretty complex language to me. Like French and Spanish, a "gender" is assigned to things and that changes how the word is spoken/written. Also, names for respect (Chachi/Chacha for aunt and uncle, respectively) are different depending on whether they are from your mother's side of the family or your father's side of the family.  If they are from the father's side, then they are "Kaki/Kaka." And the "Chachi" is spoken after the name. Unlike in English, in which I would be "Aunt Mia", or in Filipino "Tita Mia" - in India, I am "Mia Chachi".

I did well with food names though. Those were easy for me to learn, as I had known them since I started eating out at Indian restaurants in the US, and cooking Indian food at home with A.

Also, the sounds are so different. Some sounds are very nasal in nature, some come from touching the tongue to your upper palate a certain way, some require letting out an almost-exhale, for example when an /h/ follows a consonant. I'm not doing the best job at explaining this. But my sister-in-law, who I call Bhabi (respect for older sister), gets amused at how I attempt to make these sounds. She studied linguistics though, so she was an excellent teacher. Oh, and "Bhabi" is an example - the /bh/ sound is not like a regular /b/. You also somehow pronounce the /h/ next to it, in a subtle way.

And the word kadhi, for example, which is a yogurt-based dish that I like. I can't ever say it right. The /dh/ sound seems to be a pretty common one in their language, so it's a sound I've been practicing even before going to India - much to A.'s amusement. It's the one where you roll your tongue gently against your upper palate.

I think I did an ok job learning Hindi, for a visit that was under 2 weeks. Talking to the kids helped. I brought some (English) picture books for them, and I learned some animal names as a result of listening to them label the pictures in Hindi.

I love it when A.'s 2-year-old nephew warmed up to me and started talking to me like we were having an actual conversation. "Mia-Chachi, Mia-Chachi!!! ..........................(insert a whole string of words I can't understand).............hai na? (isn't it?) -- to which I would say, "accha" (ok) or "ha" (yes). He would tell me whole stories like this, in the cutest little voice ever.

The problem is, the early childhood educator in me would come out and feel regret about not being able to facilitate conversation, expand on his developing language, etc etc etc... Oh well.

Oh, wait - I'm the one trying to develop language here.

I need to start practicing those sounds more. A little trivia: we are actually born with the potential in our brains to make all these sounds; it's just that we only make the synaptic connections to make the sounds we hear in our native language. Which is why children can learn 2 languages simultaneously - because their brains are getting wired early on to be able to recognize the nuances of sounds in different languages and make the sounds to form words and eventually sentences. The infant brain is an amazing, amazing thing. I hope our future children learn all 3 languages (English, Filipino, Hindi).

After 33 years, I hope I can make more synaptic connections...


Lesson #10: Quote from Dadi, A's grandmother: "A human being is a human being."

I feel so incredibly grateful for being warmly accepted by his family, despite the fact that I am the first foreign person in not just his immediate family, but extended family as well.

What Dadi said above (which she of course spoke in Hindi, and A. translated), is something she told him long ago when he first told her about me - a non-Indian of a different culture, religion, and language.

I remember crying upon hearing this, touched by what she said.

Prior to meeting Dadi in person, I actually met her on a Skype video call - in which she blew me a kiss. So sweet.

During my visit, she talked to me in Hindi all the time, and I could only nod, smile, and say "ha" (yes) or "accha" (ok). I think she was giving me advice. All I know for sure is that it was said in a kind, loving voice, as she always touched my cheek or gently or gave me a sincere squeeze with each hug.

Here she is with my Mom...

A petite powerhouse, just like my Mom, wouldn't you think?

More details on the food and wedding #3 next time!

back home

Aaaah... traveling is such an amazing experience. Despite long flights, numerous layovers (from Cleveland --> Newark --> Brussels --> Mumbai --> Indore), sitting immobile for hours at a time - the pros definitely outweigh the inconveniences.

above the clouds

I have to say I like airports. I admit that airports can be stressful, with long lines at security, having to think of all the required ID's and documentation (especially when I was not yet a permanent resident), possibilities of delays and cancellations and such... but overall, to me airports signal the start of a new experience - or, when coming back, remind me that home is near.

Being caffeinated helps. :)

strong latte at the Brussels airport, enjoyed with a chocolate croissant for breakfast

(I know, the coffee doesn't really help with the dehydration that is so common during long-haul flights. We armed ourselves with 2 big bottles of water - after going through security - and Airborne)

boarding

But as wonderful as traveling is, it's also really good to be home. I do push myself to go beyond my comfort zone, but it's also a comfort to come back to what is familiar.

home

 And after many hearty, delicious (and spicy!) meals like this - I'm also happy to start making simpler meals, refreshing salads and fruit smoothies again. 

Clockwise from 1:00: mango mousse, kadhi (yogurt-based dish), pullao (rice dish), pakora (fritters), aloo (potatoes), green mango chutney, cilantro chutney. Center: wheat roll

We arrived on Saturday evening, after what seemed like 30 hours of traveling (Indore --> Mumbai --> Brussels --> Newark --> Cleveland). I recovered from jet lag much better than I expected this time around, compared to my 3-4 days' worth of interrupted sleep (and resulting headaches) upon arrival in India. I'm hitting the ground running, starting my work-at-home mode today and teaching at the university tomorrow.

Next weekend, I'll start sorting through the many, many photos I took during my stay. More on that later...

Meanwhile, I am back with many fond memories, and a deep sense of gratitude.

incredible India

May 11th, 2012
India

Happy, happy birthday to A., my dear husband...(there's a man's face on my palm, supposedly his profile - see it?)

So many thoughts and emotions are swirling in my soul, much like the intricate lines and curves of the mehndi (henna) on my arms. I'll write more another time.

Amit and I are celebrating "wedding part 3 of 3" tomorrow (the Hindu ceremony this time). Incredible as that sounds - for someone who's not wedding-crazy like me. But I am going to embrace the experience, as my new family has embraced me.

On the day I arrived, my mother and sister-in-law showered me with gifts - flowers, kurtas (long tunics), saris, beaded purses, jewelry. I have been overcome with emotion as they have accepted me as a daughter despite not having met me prior to that day. They both knelt in front of my feet to place jewelry (paayal = ankle bracelet) on both my ankles. I couldn't help but burst into tears. I don't have a photograph of this moment, but it is forever etched in my memory.

PS: My husband's name is spelled out on my hand below - can anyone find it?

photos taken by A.

leaving on a jet plane

I can't believe it.

I am going to India. INDIA!!!

photo by Adam Gruchala via National Geographic

photo by lark & linen

 My first international trip in SEVEN years. Which for me, is quite sad - considering I've traveled internationally every 2-4 years since I was maybe... 4 years old? (for which I am extremely thankful to my parents for giving us the gift of travel!)

Thanks to our green cards, we can now travel internationally, and this marks such a huge milestone for us. I am meeting my husband's family for the very first time - well, besides meeting on Skype video calls (thank goodness for technology).

This blogger's posts and photos of her trip to India have been absolutely inspiring. And although we are not going to those same cities (we're spending our time in my husband's hometown), I am beyond excited (and a little nervous, I admit).

As you can tell, I have been a little bit panicky since last week. And my panicky state manifests itself in weird ways. Like a few days ago, I just decided to make mayonnaise. From scratch. For no particular reason other than to whisk something until I would feel like my arm would fall off. As a side note, I will say that it was SO.GOOD. (I followed this recipe.). And for those of you who don't like mayonnaise, this is nothing like the jarred stuff. I ended up making a lemon garlic aioli as well out of it. For no particular reason. If Forrest Gump runs across America for no particular reason, I get into the kitchen and make totally random things.

Anyway, back to our trip. Our bedroom is in complete mayhem right now with bags of gifts and things that need to be packed, as well as clothes, personal care and health care items to sort through and check off our list. Even the load of laundry I did last WEDNESDAY is still sitting in the basket and has not been organized in the closet. Aaaaaack!!!

Meanwhile I am trying to write, write, write and get my work done. I still co-teach at the university until 10 pm the night before we have to leave.

So needless to say, I am doing my very best to stay healthy. Taking lots of fruit smoothies with this hemp protein powder I just discovered (no processed soy, lots of omega 3's).  Eating my greens, and maybe half my weight in hummus, avocado, and this raw nut pate I made last week. Getting enough sleep. And ok, having some dessert doesn't hurt. I have to thank my husband for running out at 10:45 pm one night to run to a nearby restaurant and get takeout creme brulee AND tiramisu before the restaurant closed at 11 pm (A., you are the best!)

Although I'll still take my laptop with me and squeeze in some work when I can (this just isn't a choice in my life right now), I'll also do my best to soak it all in. The experience of setting foot on international soil again. The culture. The language. The food. And most importantly, my new Indian family.

Just a few more days...