in the spirit of the new year...

I've been thinking about my health goals lately, in particular those having to do with fitness. Realizing that I'm now in my mid-thirties (hello, slower metabolism and decreasing bone density) and there's no way I can go back in time, I had to evaluate where I am health-wise. I'm focusing more on how I feel and how my body functions - in particular, my bones.

Hoping I can still cartwheel when I'm old and gray

I try my best to get as much calcium as I can from food, such as dark leafy greens, yogurt, kefir, as well as calcium-fortified almond milk and smoothies throughout the week. In addition to that I take a vitamin D supplement (prescribed by my doctor for my deficiency, determined through a blood test), which also helps the body absorb calcium.

matcha green tea smoothie

Aside from that, exercising for bone health is something I always have to consider. Especially because I have a lot of risk factors for osteoporosis, with genetics playing a large part: my grandmother had osteoporosis, and my mom also discovered her low bone density years ago - as a blessing in disguise - when she fractured her wrist. When she recovered she went on long walks, daily - and was able to strengthen her bones over time.

For that reason, one of the things that always nags me is strength training to keep my bone density up. I have to admit that I really, really, really dislike free weights. I've purchased free hand weights a couple of times in the past that tend to gather dust in some forgotten corner in our home. They're just not for me.

Thankfully, an asana practice offers strength training postures, using your own body weight as resistance. I've always preferred strengthening this way; so when I do my home practice, I try to hold planks a bit longer, or squeeze in a few push-ups within each sun salutation (after high plank and before moving into upward-facing dog). My home practice is usually sun salutations along with its variations and warrior sequences, and I throw in a few balancing poses as well. I don't do any of those fancy yoga poses that you might see on magazine covers. I think those who do advanced inversions and arm balances are just beautiful to watch, and remind me of how amazing the human body is. But over the years I've actually become more cautious about trying inversions especially without an instructor - and I just haven't been able to commit the kind of practice needed to do them. But mostly they just haven't been a focus of my practice, and that is ok. I've also come to prefer more restorative poses and long stretches, though I still practice supported inversions for the benefits. So after all is said and done, the strength training that I get in yoga may be quite minimal.

Last summer, I started taking TRX at the same place where I train for Krav Maga. I love the concept of using your own body weight as resistance, but with the addition of these "suspension trainers" or bands to make things more challenging. I'm starting to feel stronger over time, but I think results are taking longer overall.  As it's a long drive for me to get there (and also I am a real wimp when it comes to winter driving - don't judge), I'm just taking this class once a week. I'm hoping I can go more often once winter ends. 

So that is my long-winded way of telling you about this 30-day plank challenge. I thought it was a perfect way to slowly build strength - it's something I can do anywhere, with no equipment, and it literally only takes a few minutes out of the day. I love planks because it's such a multi-purpose exercise in which you work different parts of the body at once. I like being able to work smart.

(Here's a good tutorial on proper alignment in plank pose. And here's another one.)

Image from Yoga Journal

OR

Image from Yoga Journal

Here's how the challenge goes:

Image from here

In my home yoga practice last night, I thought I'd hold plank as long as I can to get a baseline. I was still a bit sore from my Krav training a couple of days before, but felt strong enough to hold it. I did 70 seconds before I felt like I would lose the alignment in my spine (which I don't want), so I ended it there, then took a child's pose after (aaaahhhhh....) and then stretched in downward facing dog. So I'm going to work at the 70-second level for the next couple of days and then challenge myself to 90 seconds (Day 12).

So, the challenge is to work up to FIVE WHOLE MINUTES. I'm sweating already just thinking of that.

But on second thought - it does seem attainable. I like the idea of breaking down a goal into smaller subgoals. SMART goals, so to speak. I think SMART goals set me up for success better than vague "resolutions".

For accountability's sake, I'll document my progress here every few days. Anyone care to join me?

~

On an unrelated note, I've really been craving this "superfood sunshine smoothie". Doesn't the color just brighten up these drab winter days? As we've been having subzero wind chill temps, I had it without ice. I didn't have goji berries on hand, so I just doubled the orange juice. The ginger provides a nice subtle kick.

yoga on my mind

I cannot believe it's almost the end of July. How did that happen?

In the meantime, I've been working on a few things... trying to get back into teaching yoga, for starters. I team-taught a class with another instructor/yoga studio director last night. As this was my first time to teach a group again (meaning, other than my husband!) after three years of not teaching, I *think* it went quite well. I taught a Vinyasa sequence (Sun Salutation A and B with variations) as well as introduced yin yoga at the end.

Interestingly, when the studio director and I talked after class, she asked me how I thought the class went. My response was that I *thought* it went ok. Typical...

I have to be honest and say I'm not the most confident person. I've had some people say that they wouldn't have thought that about me, but it's true. Mind you I'm not fishing for compliments here. I'm always thinking I did just ok and there are a million things running through my head about what else I could have done, what I could have done better or differently. I have also adopted the "mantra" of "fake it till you feel it". Ha! But sometimes, even when you fake confidence, in the end, you do feel it. Anyone else with me on this?

And interestingly, when the teacher and I talked after class, she said she intentionally did more core exercises during her part of the class to help me with my confidence (or lack thereof). Solar plexus chakra issues, I know. 

Anyway. She thought I did well teaching the vinyasa sequence, but her first instinct said that I would do great teaching a yin yoga class. And interestingly, when I taught yoga years ago, I taught more yin than vinyasa - although I do love both in my own practice.

Before I go any further, you might be asking, what the heck is yin yoga?

yin yoga "shoelace" pose | image source

Yin yoga is a more restorative and relaxing style of yoga that takes the stretch into the deeper connective tissues in the body, rather than the muscles, through long holds (3 minutes or more) with the muscles relaxed. Relating it to the Eastern philosophical concepts of yin and yang - which are opposing qualities that are present in all phenomena - yin types of movement refer to movement that is passive, cooling, and restorative, whereas yang types of movement refer to those that are active, warming, and dynamic, such as vinyasa yoga in which you flow in a moving sequence while linking the breath with every movement. Relating these concepts to the body, the connective tissues (ligaments, fascia) are yin, whereas the muscles are yang. Yang tissues (the muscles) are best exercised through repetition and movement to strengthen, whereas yin tissues are best exercised through slow and gradual traction. Yin yoga also focuses on the connective tissues around the lower back and hips, which are places in which we experience a lot of compression through our daily activities such as sitting at a desk for hours.

And why the connective tissues anyway? Paul Grilley, who wrote a book on yin yoga, explained: if you think about the careers of competitive athletes, many of them don't retire because of weak muscles - they retire because of problems in their joints. So through yin yoga, we put moderate stress on the connective tissue, thus gradually making it more elastic to protect our joints and maintain range of motion. Otherwise, "our connective tissues shorten to the minimal length necessary to accommodate our basic activities" (Grilley). So if our basic activities are largely composed of sitting, then, well, you get the picture.

Anyway... I won't go further into this topic other than to say that yin yoga has been such a great complement to my vinyasa and alignment yoga practice. It's a quiet, meditative practice. If you practice yoga and have not tried a yin class, go for it. Your body (and mind) will thank you!

I don't want to count my chickens before they are hatched, but I'm hoping to teach a vinyasa and yin yoga class soon...

I'm also going to a yoga workshop this weekend at this friend's delightful studio. Since it's all the way in Lexington, I'm going to make a quick trip out of it and stop by Cincinnati to see these friends as well as spend time with my friends EB and ML in Lex.

Lots of yoga talk today... now go get up from your desk and stretch for a bit.

Happy Friday, everyone!

resting like a child

In yoga, there is a pose or asana called "child's pose" - or in Sanskrit, balasana.

image source

It's one of the things I look forward to the most in a yoga class or my own yoga practice. Child's pose is a resting pose - so during a guided yoga class the teacher might lead the group to rest in child's pose or to let you know that you can come to child's pose anytime you want to rest.

There are many ways to modify and customize this pose to suit the needs of your body at any given time, depending on what feels good to you. Hands by the hips or outstretched past the head. Knees together or apart. Placing blankets or pillows under the torso. Whatever's comfortable is how it should be for you.

Sometimes, a five-minute child's pose is my yoga practice for the day. Just being honest.

But there's something refreshing about coming back to this fetal position, in a way that lets you really feel and listen to your breath and allow it to slow down. To just stop whatever you are doing and unselfishly give yourself this time. Even if it's just a few minutes to scan your body or simply take a break. Or to give yourself time to respond to a stressful situation (or yes, even a stress-provoking interaction with someone) without saying or doing something you'll regret later.

I realize that when I'm in child's pose during a yoga practice, I never think about what the next pose is or should be. I don't question what I did prior to coming to child's pose. I don't watch the time. I don't try; I just let myself be. It really is blissful. Even if it's just for a minute.

Interestingly, outside of my yoga practice, beyond the mat -- this is a harder thing to master.

I was feeling burned out and unmotivated the last few weeks after completing a big project. I had been wondering why I couldn't shake off this feeling, this academic "writer's block". I finally decided to call a friend of mine who graduated from her doctoral program (thank you, EB for hearing me out... I am so grateful). She asked me, "have you allowed yourself to really rest?"

Then the light bulb came on. I really haven't. I was still trying to meet deadlines while on vacation time zones away in India, for crying out loud. 

Then once I completed the said project, I jumped on to the next one.

It's funny how we may tend to give ourselves fully to a task or project, but do a half-baked job at resting. I realize that even when I think I'm resting, I'm actually not. Because while I'm trying to rest I'm still thinking about work or feeling guilty about not working. I never truly shut off. So the rest time becomes counterproductive, because the guilt -- and all the other things going on mentally that keep me from resting -- are taxing. 

It's called child's pose for a reason:

image source

Babies... they do this so well. They rest 100%. No half-baked job here. Sigh.

I never thought resting would be hard to do. Yet it is. Somehow, eating chocolate chip cookies is much easier. ;-)

How to rest without the guilt. That is the question.

I'd love to hear from you, friends.

"spring cleaning" yoga

So it's that time of year... in which everyone talks about "renewal" and all things fresh and new. I've been thinking about my own process of renewal and how I've been spring cleaning my life lately.

A dear friend says I "spring cleaned" in cyberspace when I moved by blog to this new URL and did a lot of blog reorganizing. True enough :)

Twisting poses in yoga are said to be cleansing. When we twist in a yoga asana, it's almost like massaging our internal organs especially in the abdominal area, stimulating them to do their thing. Here are a few twisted poses I've been practicing. I start with 3-5 sun salutation A and 2 sun salutation B on each side to warm up, then sequence the rest from standing to seated to supine poses then a final relaxation.

Twisted Chair/Revolved Chair Pose

Start in chair pose:

chair pose (source)

Then, keeping the weight on your heels (so you don't feel like you're going to fall forward!), inhale, then exhale and initiate the twist from your spine into revolved chair/twisted chair:

revolved chair/twisted chair (source)

 In revolved chair, you'll want both hips to be level or parallel to the floor, if that makes sense (meaning one side isn't jutting upwards, as is the tendency in this twist). In this pose, you can keep your drishti (gazing point or point of focus) on a spot on the floor (as pictured on left). Or if you're comfortable, look toward the side wall or past the top shoulder. As in any pose, if you're breathing in a relaxed way, then that's a good indication that you can stay in the pose or even deepen the stretch. But if you're feeling short of breath, ease out of it. To come out of the pose, inhale, then exhale to engage the abdominals (thus protecting the spine) and then return to a neutral spine. Then relax in a forward bend - you can keep the knees bent a little -- or a lot --which is nice too if you just want to relax your torso over your thighs. Do a neutral forward forward bend also in between sides.

revolved chair, variation (source)

Here's another fun variation, which is great for tight shoulders (which I almost always have from working at the computer all day): -->


 And yeah, the beach would be great too...







 Revolved Triangle

revolved triangle (source)

I have to admit that revolved triangle is not one of my favorite poses. Especially on the left side, because of my tight left hamstring and overall weakness on my left side. But I know this pose is good for me to work on stability along with the twisting and the hamstring stretch.

Remember also to keep a tiny bend in the front knee by moving the front shin bone forward eeeeever so slightly. 

When I do this pose, I ALWAYS use a block as a prop. When I'm on my right side, I position the block on the outside of my front foot. When I'm on my left (always the more challenging side), I position it on the inside of my front foot (which is another modification). Depending on how I feel and my range of motion that day, I position the block either on the tall side or the short side as necessary. A stack of books will suffice too if you don't have a block.

block on the inside of the front foot (less range of motion)

block on the outside of the front foot (more range of motion)

(Those aren't my veiny hands and feet, are you kidding me?!? *wink*)

I also keep my gaze on the floor for revolved triangle, since this pose is challenging enough for me. Also, most of the time I start with my top arm on my hip instead of extended upward as in the picture - keeping my hand on my hip encourages me to think about the position of my torso and to really initiate the twist from the core rather than forcefully trying to stick my arm up in the air (which will probably make me huff and puff or feel a side cramp or get lightheaded, or all of the above).

Oh, and I don't think I ever get to that extension as pictured above with his chest nice and open, the bottom hand flat on the floor, and both arms almost in a straight line. But I'm ok with that, as long as I feel a sense of opening or expansion in my torso as I twist according to my own range of motion.

One of the most important things I learned when we studied anatomy by Paul Grilley is "don't let the tail wag the dog" - which, he explains in other words, don't compromise the extremities for what the axis (center) of the body can't do. With these twisting poses especially, we initiate the movement from the spine and the abdominal area, keeping our abdominals engaged to protect the spine. Sometimes we may have a tendency to try to force our bodies to achieve the external form or look of the pose (which is not really a safe thing to do), but it's usually safer to just modify so we can achieve the function of the pose in a way that is best for our bodies. Don't get me wrong, form is important too in terms of safe alignment - but the form of one person's fullest expression of the pose is different from another person's.

Seated Twist

gentle seated twist (source)

seated twist (source)

In either of these seated twists, you'll want to keep both shoulders relaxed and down, away from the ears.

And here is my favorite twist, below. It's such a relaxing pose.

Reclined Twist/Supine Twist

reclined twist (source)

Other variations are having both legs together and bent, or both legs straight and out to the side (although that is not always the most relaxing variation for me). If your knees don't get all the way to the ground (which happens to me when I'm reeeeaaaally stiff and my lower back is troubling me), prop up your knees with a yoga block, a pillow, or even a stack of books - at enough height off the ground that you can keep both shoulders relaxed on the floor. Once again - don't let the tail wag the dog!

Hold for several deep breaths, then slowly come out of it (supporting your knees if necessary) and hug your knees to your chest by holding the back of the thighs close to the knee joint. Being prone to knee issues, I always do it this way rather than holding the front of my knees or kneecaps and pulling them in. 


Twisting is like wringing out your body of toxins. So as I twist, sometimes I also visualize wringing my self of mental or emotional toxins as well - it's like mental spring cleaning.

What thoughts am I holding on to that don't serve me or others?

What habits am I holding on to that don't serve me or others?

What emotions am I holding on to that don't serve me or others?

How can I let go of these thoughts, habits, or emotions?

 

Of course, after all that yoga detox I tend to re-evaluate my food choices as well, along with lightening up my favorite recipes in time for the warmer weather. I am excited to put together my favorite refreshing salads, cook some lighter spring soups and lighter bean-based dishes this weekend - hope to post some new recipes soon! (This will keep me from giving in to Cape Cod salt & vinegar chips, my big weakness. Reminder to self: internal spring cleaning!!!)

OK now I need to spring clean my home this weekend too... I must manage my work clutter and repurpose some old things for a more functional and aesthetically pleasing space.

What kind of spring cleaning do you do? Any favorite spring rituals? Do you make any changes in your life along with the change in seasons?

integration

I think, after about 10-ish years of practicing yoga (I've had some "off" phases, to be perfectly honest), I've found my ideal yoga practice.

At least for now. And I say "for now", with the realization that life situations and circumstances change. So I'm finding ways to adapt and go with the flow of these changes until I settle into a sense of equilibrium, whatever that is in the given situation.

And by an "ideal" yoga practice, I don't just mean ideal poses or asanas. What I mean is a mix of practices on and off the mat that complement each other and help both my body, mind, and spirit.

In my early years of yoga, I was in my early twenties and charging full speed ahead. Full-time teaching job, watersports on the weekends (aaahhhh the sweet luxury of living in a tropical country). I practiced yoga at home in the evenings following a video, to slow down and help my body repair after the physical demands of teaching children and teaching gymnastics.

Then I left home to come to the US for graduate school. Still charging full speed ahead. I found that my change in lifestyle (many hours sitting in front of a computer) resulted in a lot of pent-up twentysomething energy, having been used to being active all day. So I went to either a Vinyasa or Ashtanga-like class four times a week, and ran and/or practiced Pilates on other days. Sometimes I did all three, one after the other. I know. Those were my Energizer bunny days. Sigh.

enjoying a sun-dappled patch of grass, post-run

And that went on for a while, until I got so inspired by yoga that I decided to sign up for yoga teacher training. And my awareness of other styles of asana grew, as my awareness of yoga philosophy grew as well. As I learned more, I started to reflect more on compassion and nonviolence and how that plays out in my life. I learned that there's a reason for yin and yang, as there is a reason for an active practice just as there is a reason for a slow restorative practice. As I grew older, I started to learn to listen to my body more, and decide what I needed that day. I still kept fairly active, walking/running (ok, more walking than running), swimming during the summer months. I learned that yoga is so much more than just the physical practice; it fed my body as well as my soul - to unload, decompress, and recharge after the emotional demands of teaching (I tend to get attached to "my" kids, what can I say...). I fell in love with the quieter, softer, yin style of asanas. I started feeling a sense of balance in my life - career, friendships, wellness, discovering art, a developing spirituality. And I felt a sense of balance in my yoga as well.

And then I moved, again. For grad school. Again. And my yoga asana practice went on the back burner.

my life nowadays

I went to a class once a week, and practiced asana at home maybe two other times during the week. Sometimes 15 minutes was all I could do. Then there were even times in which I just went to class once a week and maybe did 5 or 10 minutes of stretches before bed. I was in a yoga rut. There, I said it. As much as it would be great to feel all enlightened and blissful and energetic, "my" yoga just wasn't quite there. I was feeling anything but enlightened and energetic. Truth be told, I was nervous, worried, and anxious because of a lot of external expectations - and my own unrealistic expectations of myself. But, as is always the case, the times when I need yoga the most are when I practice the least.

my poor neglected yoga mat was gathering dust for a while

During this time, I felt that many things were out of whack in my life. Something was not quite "right". It was two years of crazy transitions, but also crazy-good transitions. But what was not quite right, or so it felt, was my heavily left-brained life. I lost time for art. I missed my circle of friends (and social support system), having moved to a different city. I lost time for movement and wellness. Or I can say I just made poor excuses. It just felt... uneven. Which is hardly surprising.

Then I found a yoga class called "sacred geometry of the body" (isn't that a beautiful way to conceptualize the human body?). The focus of the class was on structural alignment. And I'm not just talking about alignment in terms of wrists under the shoulders for cat-cow pose or having the feet lined up just like so for warrior pose. Those are important too, but this class is most especially about pelvic alignment. And it opened my eyes (and pelvis, pun intended) to a whole new world. Everything begins in the pelvis. All my structural unevenness - and resulting aches and pains - can be traced to the unevenness in my pelvis. I've never been to a class in which I worked so hard to do "only" 3 poses in an hour - all in an effort toward pelvic alignment. It's definitely a much more subtle practice than doing multiple sun salutations, chatturangas, and headstands.

This class has really been a welcome departure from my earlier full-speed-ahead version of vinyasa or ashtanga(ish) practice. Don't get me wrong - I love the grace and fluidity of a mindful vinyasa practice and how the breath flows with the movement and energizes the pose. But all too often (especially when I practice at home in my distracted state... and ok, my work-cluttered environment), it becomes difficult to really practice with 100% intention, and I end up falling into my same old patterns and habits - favoring certain poses over others, and my misalignment. But most importantly, I was not practicing with 100% attention. Yoga truly is mental as much as, or quite arguably more than, it is physical.

After several months of this class and focusing solely on pelvic alignment, I returned to a vinyasa class with fresh eyes. And it felt really, really good.

Recently, I went to an evening vinyasa class in which no one else showed up. The instructor went on with the class, much to my delight. Private class! Score! 

But man, did I work in that class. And I mean shaky-quadriceps-in-warrior-pose kind of work. It's amazing what a one-on-one class can do, which I actually have not experienced prior to that day. Within the first 5 minutes of movement, she diagnosed me and my structural unevenness and imbalance: I see you have some hyperflexion here and imbalance there and uneven strength here and that can create problems everywhere. (She didn't quite state it that way - she was definitely more kind that that, but that was her "diagnosis" in a nutshell). With that observation, and because I was the only one who showed up to class that evening, she proceeded to morph the Vinyasa class (which was what the class was supposed to be) to more of an alignment and stability class. Which is what I needed.

So, I am now trying to continue on with my routine of alignment on Mondays and vinyasa on Wednesdays and Fridays, then yin yoga at home in between. I think this makes for a nice balanced physical practice.

my wellness calendar: yoga classes at a studio 3x a week, home yoga practice in between

Somehow, I'm starting to feel a greater sense of... integration. The dictionary defines integration as "the coordination of mental processes into a normal effective personality or with the individual's environment" (thanks, Merriam-Webster... pardon my geek moment.). Been thinking about this for a while. I think the hard part was getting past the word "normal" (being in the world of special education, I'm not a fan of that word. I think in this context, I prefer "balanced"). But anyway. It's amazing how the alignment I'm working on in my body during my asana practice is finding its way to the rest of my life as well. And that's the beauty of yoga.

As much as yoga asanas happen in the outer body, so much of it is mental as well, happening in the "inner" body. The focus. The intention. The awareness. The appreciation for the perfectly imperfect body and self. Coordinating the inner body and outer body. To integrate mind, body, and spirit in an intelligent, mindful practice, in spite of and in response to the often disintegrated and uncoordinated outer world of stresses and pressures, is so powerful. 

So I'm re-discovering "my" yoga that is right for me at this time. Because life is about change and constantly re-discovering ourselves in the ebb and flow.

 I've started to work on balancing the other areas of my life, and (hopefully) making more positive choices as I try to adapt to my new external and internal pressures. It's ok to not charge at full-speed in life - as it is ok to not expect that of myself. I'm learning to let go of certain expectations and instead settle into a place that's just right for right now.

I'm actually writing and reflecting more too. Trying to "make" more photographs and not just "take" them (although I have to admit, I've been loving Instagram lately... but that counts, right?). I'm spending less time doing mindless surfing on the Internet and more time making personal calls or even writing snail mail to friends. Replacing negative self-talk with positive. Trying to balance dreaming big and having realistic expectations of myself. Re-focusing on my health, and taking the necessary steps to achieve health. Investing in wellness, rather than "things".

Integration. I like that word.

I think, I have it figured out. For now.

Long blog post, I know. But that's a result of 10(ish) years of my yoga journey. I wonder what the next 10 will hold. For now, I'll just celebrate "my" yoga, one ujjayi breath at a time.

yoga: healthy or hurtful?

My yoga instructor sent me this recent New York Times article on "how yoga can wreck your body."

As in all other things -- even something as wholesome-sounding as yoga -- can be dangerous when taken to the extreme and when focus, awareness, and proper preparation are lacking.

Photo credit

I love advanced poses. Watching others do them, I mean. To be quite honest, I'm not one to include those beautiful acrobatic asanas in my practice. Part of it has to do with my somewhat paranoid tendencies -- having lived by myself for years (before marriage), far away from my home country and my family, I sometimes had irrational thoughts about injuring myself during a home yoga practice, getting knocked unconscious and laying there undiscovered until days later. (I know... like I said, paranoid and irrational. But hey... it can happen, right? Knock on wood. Knock on wood with me, please.)

So I stuck with "safer" poses. Poses in which the chances of me getting knocked unconscious, or slamming my face onto the floor and breaking my front teeth (ok, so that's a bit graphic) are quite slim. It's a little ironic coming from someone who was a gymnast in her childhood. I guess I've turned into an overly cautious adult, but sun salutations, standing poses, seated poses, supine poses, gentle inversions have been my asanas of choice; practicing poses like headstand only occasionally - or unless with an experienced yoga instructor. So despite practicing yoga for about 10 years now, I can't do those jaw-dropping, gravity-defying advanced poses.

And you know what? That is ok. Throughout my yoga journey I've come to the realization that the ability to do jaw-dropping poses does not make me a "better" yoga practitioner. Don't get me wrong - I have utmost respect for people with the strength and balance to be able to do advanced poses. Their focus and discipline are inspiring, and their execution of these poses is like art in motion. It just leaves me mesmerized.

Photo credit

I once heard someone say, "advanced poses are overrated." That was coming from a yoga practitioner who CAN do advanced poses. I chuckled at that, remembering my exhilaration when I first learned to hold an arm balance. I remember feeling a sense of both centeredness and expansion, in being able to focus my energy toward a pose and accomplish something I once thought I couldn't.

But in a recent yoga class, our instructor had us work on only 3 "simple" poses, breaking each one down all the way to the anatomy and physiology of the pose and the pelvic alignment that goes into the pose. (Our instructor is BIG on pelvic alignment - her classes have been extremely eye-opening and informative). Yes, we "only" worked on 3 very-basic looking poses, but these turned out to be incredibly complex. I've never worked this hard on "just" 3 poses in a long time. I felt those same feelings of centeredness and expansion at the same time. And believe me, I felt it in my muscles the next day. Safety is also a huge theme in her class - always focusing on breaking down the asanas to the most basic components, and preparing the body for each. Because it's not just the advanced acrobatics that can have potential dangers - even a seemingly "simple" pose, like a seated twist, can be unsafe if not done correctly.

The thought of potential yoga injuries (not just in myself, but in others) has been my major deterrent to going back to teaching yoga. I haven't kept up with my study of anatomy for a while, and I worry about not having enough knowledge in this area. Sure, I can probably still sequence a class fairly well. I still know some of the basic contraindications of poses. But when it comes to students who have pre-existing injuries or medical concerns, I am concerned that I may not have the anatomy knowledge to teach them safely. Not a fault of my teacher training by any means; I just haven't kept up with my self-study. I do need to revisit my yoga anatomy book (just found out there is a 2nd edition!). Here is another great book on the use of props in yoga (don't be misled by the title!). Props are extremely helpful for increasing safety, promoting proper alignment, and getting to the point of a healthy, delicious stretch.

Here is another interesting article on the topic of the possible safety issues in yoga.

And here is an interesting take on facing your fears in advanced poses.

Photo credit

Do you find these articles on the "dangers" of yoga concerning? What are your thoughts on advanced poses? Do you like them? Do you face your fears or stick to your safety zone?

slowing down...

I used to be a get-up-and-go person. In my old life. When I was living back home and blessed with tropical sunshine almost every day, I would wake up to glorious morning sunlight streaming into my bedroom from my east-facing window. I would wake up early even on a Saturday to swim laps for almost 2 hours. Or do cartwheels every chance I had.

California, 2006

Those were the days...Where was the boundless energy I used to have in my twenties? I'm not that old!

Sometimes I feel like a different person now - dragging myself to get out of bed when it's so gray and dreary outside. I don't know what it is, but sunshine just has a tremendous influence on my mood and energy. It's always such a challenge during the winter season.

My yoga practice has changed quite a bit, as well. My beginning yoga practice during my twenty-something years were filled with a very active and dynamic practice 5x a week. And that's in addition to running and Pilates. Now, it's been a real challenge to "salute the sun" in vigorous sun salutations/Surya Namaskara when I can't see the sun in the morning. And on those days, all I want to do is this:

Seated Twist/Ardha Matsyendrasana/Half Lord of the Fishes Pose
photo from yogajournal.com

Sometimes, this pose is the most active pose of my day:

Low Lunge/Crescent Pose/Anjaneyasana
photo from yogajournal.com

I haven't been practicing headstand for a while. Lately this is all the energy I can muster for an inversion:

Legs-up-the-wall pose/Viparita Karani
photo from yogajournal.com

And this one below is probably my all-time favorite on days like this:

restorative forward bend
photo from yinyoga.com

All of these are great poses though - the seated twist is a really good spine and hip stretch. Crescent pose always feels incredible in the hip flexors after extended periods of sitting (which I tend to do for work). With legs-up-the-wall we reverse the flow of gravity in an inversion - just like you would in a headstand but in a more supported way. And the restorative forward bend is so great for decompressing the lower back.

I hope to get out of this low-energy phase soon... but in the meantime, I'll enjoy my restorative poses.

birthday yoga!

I have to admit that I am not the biggest fan of "hot" yoga. I've tried it, but don't practice that way on a regular basis. And it has nothing to do with the yoga itself... it's just a matter of personal preference. I LOVE yoga outdoors, and if indoors, I usually prefer a room with comfortable, just-right HVAC.

But on this day, the day of my birth, I decided, why not do something different and go to a hot yoga class? And in perfect timing, I received an email from this studio, which entitled me to a free yoga class during my birthday week! The class description stated that the room would be warmed to 85 degrees. Ok, not bad... at least it wasn't a feverish temperature. So off I went, wearing the most sweat-absorbing, moisture-wicking workout top I own. Having been to this studio before,  I knew how hot it could be. So I also brought a sweat-absorbing towel and a big bottle of water to be as ready as I could for buckets of sweat.

It turned out to be a great class! The instructor led us through multiple vinyasa sequences and warrior poses/variations and balancing sequences, in a room that felt much warmer than 85 degrees (considering the full yoga room, body heat from what seemed like 30 people, each one practicing the ujjayi breath). The instructor made us work, stretch, and sweat, but also made us laugh.

There's something so primal, so cleansing, so life-affirming, about movement and breath and sweating from every single pore of my body. About getting out of my head and into my heart. I welcomed every sweaty vinyasa as a chance to celebrate life, to challenge myself while exercising patience and awareness of what my body needed and felt. Aaaahhhh... the joys of truly being in my body, moving, and feeling every movement. Each time I moved from a standing forward fold to sweep my arms up to the side and overhead to mountain pose, it was like scooping up all this wonderful energy. I couldn't help but smile in extended side angle, feeling the deliciousness of the stretch, and in dancer pose, feeling grounded yet light. I bowed into humble warrior pose with gratitude. Each lion's breath in upward dog and fish pose was so life-force-giving. Just as my mother and father gave their own life force to me on this very day years ago.

So on that note I say THANKS... for this day, for the gift of breath and movement, and to all those who gave meaning and life to my days.

Today's meditation: "May every breath I take be a prayer." (How very fitting for a birthday meditation!)

Thank you, A., for the pretty birthday flowers!

"it's just yoga."

I went to a kick-butt yoga class at this studio today. It was challenging and sweaty, yet fun and lighthearted. There were moments of complete ease and stillness, and moments of seriously trembling limbs and muscles in some tough asanas. As I was trying to keep my focus through a creative balancing sequence (which is now my new favorite) of standing split to half moon to half moon with a bind to standing up to dancer pose and back to half moon with a bind (all while balancing on the same leg), I lost my balance. Then the teacher said, "It's OK. It's just yoga."

That's such a refreshing thing to hear. In the world of career and workaholism, it's easy to start taking myself too seriously. So hearing someone say, "It's OK. It's JUST yoga." is a refreshing change of pace; a reminder to lighten up, loosen up, and let go.

A dear friend wrote about "giving up the idea that things have to be so hard." This thought really makes me reflect on what I hold on to that makes things harder than they have to be, instead of letting go, trusting in my efforts, and going with the flow.

I think back at the times when I found answers or solutions when I least expected it. Like going into a challenging asana, thinking I couldn't do it, when all I needed was to come back to my breath so I could focus my mind. Or coming up with a great idea for my schoolwork during a walk, instead of while staring at a blank document on my computer screen. Or taking a short, much-needed break to remove myself from a stressful situation, and suddenly coming into clarity about what needs to be done.

I always find it amazing when that happens. There's a sense of relief in finding out the ease with which an answer comes our way when we unburden ourselves of internal pressures and judgments. This sense of "letting go" of that mindset or ideal of perfection is not an excuse to do things half-baked; it's a reminder to let go of what is weighing us down. Whether it's the idea that I HAVE TO be able to do this yoga pose, or the idea that who I am is tied to a grade I receive on a paper. IT'S OK. "It's just ____." I am not that important for the the world to stop turning if I don't achieve this pose, or if I miss a few points on a school paper (and seriously, there are MUCH bigger problems in the world.).

So I remind myself to lighten up, loosen up, and let go.

And in today's yoga class, when I tried that same sequence a second time, I let go of expectation and judgment, and instead focused on just breathing and being present. Then I felt light enough to soar in that balancing asana sequence.

It felt awesome.

the simple pleasures in life

I realized that at the end of the day, my needs are not that complicated. A delicious healthy meal prepared with love and good karma, enjoyed with people I hold dear. A good stretch with some blissful yoga. And walks in the sunshine.

Well, a walk on the beach with a view of God-light wouldn't hurt.

Headlands Beach, Lake Erie

I love God-light.

Might as well throw in some yoga while I'm at it...

Hope you savored many moments of simple pleasures today, as I have...

Thank you, A., for the yoga action shots, and for the wonderful day of simple pleasures.

tune in, respond, adjust

In a recent yoga class, we held Warrior 1 for several breaths. I always find it interesting when we hold poses for several seconds. For one, it gives me time to check in with my mind and body. Are my thoughts wandering? Am I still breathing deeply? Am I fully aware of where my body is in space? Am I fully aware of what I'm feeling, where I am feeling relaxation and where I am feeling tension or discomfort? What do I need to adjust in this pose so I can relax better and breathe better?

It sure sounds like a lot of questions. Which is why despite having a home practice, I like going to a class once or twice a week, because with an instructor leading the class, I am able to just listen and feel.

In Warrior 1, there are many things to attend to. Front knee directly over ankle. Front thigh parallel (or as close to parallel as you can) to the floor. Back leg strong and grounded, extended backward. Back foot at a 45-degree angle, planted firmly on the floor. Hips squared towards the front of the room (imagine that they are headlights). Ribcage lifted. Sides lengthened, arms strong and extended upward, energy through the fingertips. Shoulders relaxed and down. Head in neutral to look forward or turned slightly upward to gaze at the hands. Facial muscles relaxed. Breaths are deep and even.

Sounds like a lot, doesn't it? Staying in a pose does require tuning in to little signals. It requires awareness to make necessary adjustments, to make the pose better and safer for your body as well as to maximize the stretch.

Isn't that the same thing we need to do in life? We immerse ourselves in an experience, and tune in to what is going on - both externally and internally. We stay perceptive to change. We respond and make adjustments. I think we do this all the time. From the seemingly mundane activities like cooking (which I never think as mundane, actually!) to the things we do at work, the things we do in our interactions with others.

I always think about how this is at work in my life. 

I recently taught a class at the university, about family-professional collaboration. One recent activity we had the students do is to discuss case studies - which were unresolved dilemmas, many of which require moral and ethical decisions. It is an exercise that requires communication, team collaboration, and problem solving. As an instructor I spent a great deal of time preparing for this exercise, reading on the research-based practices on how to effectively implement this activity for students. But it was not done as soon as students came to a consensus and to a resolution. I also spent a great deal of time afterward reflecting on the experience and on the feedback from students. Tuning in. Responding. Adjusting. Thinking about how to make the experience better in the future.

Or in photography - we tune in to our subject. We respond and take a photo. We adjust the camera and lens settings, and try again for a better shot.

Relationships are the same - whether with family, friends, or coworkers. We tune in to verbal and nonverbal signals when communicating. We respond with sincerity. We may agree to disagree, and we take deep breaths when angry. We adjust, we meet halfway. We come to a shared understanding.

Tune in, respond, adjust. More life's lessons from yoga.

How do you tune in? I'd love to hear from you.

go big or go home

 Photo: My first skydive, taken by Start Skydiving

"Go big or go home."

I've been attending an intermediate flow yoga for the past few weeks, and this seems to be the instructor's favorite motto.

I love it though. It's all about giving your all. It's about passion.

She leads us through a challenging sequence of standing poses, and we hold warrior pose on one side throughout several variations, with 3-5 breaths per pose. Warrior I, hold. Warrior I with arms behind, hands clasped and fingers interlaced, expand chest. Bow forward into Devotional Warrior. Back to Warrior I. Warrior I to Warrior II. Warrior II to Reverse Warrior. Reverse Warrior to Extended Side Angle. Extended Side Angle with a half bind or full bind. Oh, and she might throw in Half Moon too. And yes, about 3-5 LONG breaths for each pose. Without switching sides or to the other leg in between any of those lunge poses. At one point the instructor even sat on one yogini's thigh while she was in warrior. (Thank goodness it wasn't me.)

Towards the end of this sequence, my right thigh is shaking, and finally I feel like giving up. I let out a loud "WHEW!" And she says, "Go big or go home!"

And sometimes that's all it takes - a little encouragement, a friendly push to find your edge.... then finally, we go through a vinyasa to rest in Downward Dog for about 5 breaths. I tell you, after that sequence, that Down Dog is the best Down Dog ever.

Then we switch to Warrior on the left and do the same sequence all over again.

"Go big or go home."

At the end, it feels great though. To know that I've given my all. Pushed myself to find my edge... not to be competitive with others or with myself (ok, maybe a just a little competitive with myself...), but to reach that point of a little discomfort in order to grow stronger...while recognizing that it's ok to lose my balance from my Half Moon pose. I don't have to judge myself when I fall; I just accept it. I can get back up and try again. Recognizing that someone is there to help you stretch just a little bit further - not too much, but just enough. Just enough for the challenge to be right for you at that moment. 

And isn't that what we do in life, anyway? We dream, and we dream big. We push ourselves beyond our comfort zones, to know what we're capable of. But we also forgive ourselves when we fall and make mistakes. We can accept help and support. We also accept periods of rest, and when we do, the rest is so deliciously blissful... much like the Downward Dogs after the challenging standing sequence. And in this state, we know that we are stronger for it, and that we made every moment count.

Go big or go home!



* The Yoga Journal website is a great resource for photos of yoga poses. Click here.

the heart chakra

I've been reflecting on the heart chakra lately. I don't know if it's because Valentine's Day is coming up, as cliche as that sounds. I prefer to call it El Dia De Amor Y Amistad--the Day of Love and Friendship-- which is how February 14th is celebrated in other countries, as a good friend of mine told me (thanks, RZ).

Back to the heart chakra. This excerpt is from Yoga Journal:

"Through the heart chakra, we open to and connect with harmony and peace. The health of our heart center registers the quality and power of love in our life. In Sanskrit, the heart chakra is called Anahata, which means “unstruck” or “unhurt.” Its name implies that deep beneath our personal stories of brokenness and the pain in our heart, wholeness, boundless love, and a wellspring of compassion reside." - Barbara Kaplan Herring

I thought that was a beautiful definition.

It reminds me about what yoga really is - union. That yes, even with pain, sadness, and brokenness, we are all capable of offering love and compassion. And we are capable of receiving it too. It's all part of that oneness. We are also capable of being compassionate towards ourselves. Which I think is harder sometimes.

It makes me think about the thoughts, experiences, and memories that may keep me from being open in my heart's center. All these things that we hold on to, we feel in the tightness in certain areas of our body, when we contract and tighten to protect ourselves, or to keep from letting go of something that we need to let go of. Which is why backbending, a great heart chakra-opening pose, can be so challenging sometimes. I know it because my body doesn't lie. It's right there in my hip flexors. Ouch.

*Play background music here: "Fear... can stop your love and...love...can stop your fear..." (Morcheeba, Big Calm)*

I am reminded of how easy backbending is as a child. I remember doing it all the time as an 8-year-old, with hardly any discomfort. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that children are fully present. They let go. They may get into fights among themselves, and then not long after that they are fine. Well, life isn't that simple anymore. As adults, we tend to hold onto things longer.

 

(photo taken by Dad in New Hampshire, summer 2006)

 

I went to a challenging yoga class a few weeks ago. The instructor had us hold Warrior II (photo above) for what felt like a REALLY long time. Not only that, she had us go deeper, till your front thigh was parallel to the floor (still keeping knee above ankle). And this was after several sweaty sun salutations. And yes, we had to breathe deeply and fully (of course, right?!). Then she said, "Think about something that happened that is causing annoyance that you are holding on to. Sometimes it's something so petty, sometimes it's more serious. Visualize where your level of annoyance is. As you sink your hips lower into your Warrior, deepen your breath, and with every exhale, lower that level of annoyance. See the level go down with every exhale."

Whoa. Now that was intense.

But that's what the physical practice of yoga helps us with. It helps us recognize those areas in our life that we need to face and work through. Those things that cause us to tighten, contract, and close up. Those things that we need to let go of to move forward, so that we can be open, so that compassion can flow in and out of our hearts more easily. When we ease gently into a challenging asana and let go through the breath, or decide to let go of something that holds us down, we create space. We create space in our bodies, and we create space in our hearts and minds for more positivity to enter. That's what is so transformative about yoga.

A thought has been forming in my mind about a yoga practice of asanas for opening the heart chakra. More on that later...

is this heaven or what???

 

This local yoga studio is hosting a yoga + chocolate workshop this February, three weekends from now. The Saturday workshop is entitled "Yoga + Miracles: There's Nothing a Little Chocolate Can't Fix" and the Sunday workshop is "Chocolate-Covered Happiness". Two hours of vinyasa yoga for blissful stretching, followed by chocolate tasting. Sigh...

What could be better??

Find out more about the workshop here, and read more about the concept in this article here.

grounding

As I've written in my earlier post, after days of being here, there, and everywhere, some grounding is in order. My mind and body look for it. This morning, my grounding "ritual" consisted of cleaning my apartment and doing those weekend things that remind me of being home. Going to my favorite bread shop, then brunch across the street at this place. Taking a walk. Then, there's yoga. Yoga outside is even better - how can one not feel grounded in nature? So, here are some grounding poses:

Mountain pose


It may seem like you're not doing anything, but as you stand tall, every muscle is engaged. This pose is actually a lot of work! But it's all worth it. You'll feel centered, strong, focused.

Stand tall, either with feet together or slightly apart, with feet parallel. Bring your awareness first to your breath and observe how you are breathing right now. Are you breathing through the upper part of your chest? If so, breathe all the way into your belly, and exhale fully. Your belly and chest will naturally expand as you inhale, and relax as you exhale. Do this a few times until you can find a comfortable pace. You can begin to lengthen your breath; you can silently count to 4 (or to whatever feels good to you) for each inhale and exhale. Continue breathing with this kind of awareness until you feel relaxed and centered.

Then, feel your feet rooted to the ground. Distribute your weight evenly between both feet, keeping you balanced. Engage your stomach muscles, pulling your navel area up and into your spine. Open your chest, but relax your shoulders. Your arms can be resting on either side of the body, or you can place your hands in prayer position. Remember to relax your facial muscles. Breathe...

Warrior II


Take a big step back with your left foot. Your feet will be about one-leg distance apart. Your right foot will be pointing forward, your left foot will be slightly pigeon-toed. Turn your torso to the left. Bend the right leg so that your right knee is directly above the ankle. Engage the thighs, and again feel your feet rooting to the ground. Lift the arms into a T position, and gaze over your right fingertips. Relax the shoulders. As always, breathe... and enjoy the feeling of strength, balance, and grounding. After a few deep breaths, step your left foot forward and come back to Mountain pose for a few breaths, then repeat Warrior II on the other side.

Tree pose


Find your balance in Mountain pose. Then, shift your weight into the left foot. Feel the strength in your left leg. Then, slowly lift the right foot off the ground. Your right foot can just rest by the left ankle, or you can walk the right foot up the left leg until you find a comfortable position; your right foot can be resting on the left calf, on the side of the left knee, or on the left inner thigh. You can also use a wall for balance. When you're ready, you can place your hands in prayer position in front of the chest, or you can lift your arms overhead with palms together.

Be patient with yourself; if you lose your balance, just come back to Mountain pose and try again. In balancing poses, sometimes I find that if I focus more on my center, it draws the attention away from my extremities, and I am more able to find stillness. After a few deep breaths (or, as many as you like!), come back to Mountain pose, then repeat on the other side.

Also, it's not uncommon to feel more balanced on one side than the other. Our bodies are more asymmetrical then symmetrical; personally, my balance is more challenged on the left side as my left leg is weaker than my right. Just accept where you are now, and let go of expectation.

The Dancer

This is one of my favorite balancing poses! For one, I love the name... and two, I love the stretch I feel while I'm in it (you'll feel it in the front of your thigh and hip flexors). It's also a slight back bend when you arch your back as you lift your leg behind you.

Start in Mountain pose. Find your balance first on both feet, then shift your weight onto your left leg. Lift the right foot off the floor, bending the knee so that your foot comes up behind you and you can grab the top of your foot with your hand. You can stay here for a few breaths to feel a nice stretch on your thigh.

(Note: if you feel pain/stress in your knee joint, I would suggest not doing this pose. When my knee hurts, I skip it and do other balancing poses.)

When you're ready you can start to lift the leg higher behind you; you'll feel a slight back bend here. You can lift your left arm up overhead. Stay for a few deep breaths. Slowly lower the leg, then repeat on the other side.

Come back to Mountain pose, and feel grounded.


photo credits: mountain pose and warrior pose taken by Dad (New Hampshire), tree pose photo taken by Minnie (Maryland), dancer photo by Jen (Eden Park, Cincinnati)

PS: Today is my dad's birthday! Happy birthday, Dad!!! Much love. Here's to more yoga and meditation!