peace and calm in the eye of the storm

Have you ever read the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst?

Well, it was one of those days. On a typical day, I'm a calm, happy person (just don't withdraw my daily dose of dark chocolate). Usually I'm able to take things in stride, and life is good. But sometimes, especially after a long bout of peace and quiet, life gives you a tidal wave.

Admittedly, I am an emotional eater. On a typical day, I make fairly healthy choices. But tonight, dinner consisted of ginger snaps and dark chocolate (thanks, Meredith!), a couple of mandarin oranges, and green tea.

And my yoga asana practice today consisted of the following:

Savasana

Yes, you read that correctly. Savasana, or corpse pose. That's it. That's the only yoga asana I did today. On other "terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days", sometimes I feel the need to run and release energy. But today was just exhausting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. So I did not want to sweat through a power yoga or a vinyasa yoga practice today; nor did I want to do even a flowing Taoist yoga practice. A long savasana was in order.

Savasana is one of the highlights of my yoga asana practice. After doing moving sequences such as sun salutations and other poses, savasana is the time for final relaxation. You just lay there, close your eyes, and breathe. It's the time for just letting go, of releasing control. Those of you who know me well, you'll say this is a departure from the other controlled areas of my life. There's no pressure to achieve anything (Again, if you know me well, this is a departure from my sometimes over-achieving self.).

But this is why savasana is so needed. Over-achieving or not, anyone can benefit from this practice. Whether you lay here for 5 minutes or 50, it can do your body and mind lots of good. In savasana, just be.

Interestingly, savasana can also be one of the most challenging asanas. Letting go can truly be challenging. Every day, we stick to schedules and commitments and exert control over our activities and choices throughout the day. Every day, we are connected to our phones and computers. Disconnecting from that can be hard, and re-connecting with yourself can be hard as well. We are constantly bombarded by thoughts. Do you find yourself going through long stretches of time in which you just can't quiet the mind? I know I do. We go through our days talking, sending emails, doing chores, surfing the Internet, watching TV. One day, it just hit me that I have 4 email accounts. Quieting the mind can be so elusive! It helps to really "set the stage" for true relaxation.

In savasana, I just lay down and use props to make myself as comfortable as possible. Using props can make a world of difference in yoga, and you can use what you already have around your house:

- a bolster or pillow to place beneath the knees, to elevate the legs slightly; this also helps those with lower back discomfort
- a blanket
- an eye pillow (I have one that is filled with seeds and dried lavender for a relaxing scent)
- soft music

Just close your eyes... allow your body to become heavy, almost like you are sinking or melting into the ground. Thoughts naturally can come into your mind, and just acknowledge them, then let them go... without really attaching to them. Sometimes, when it's extra difficult to quiet the mind, repetitive phrases (mantra) can help. In my savasana practice tonight, I repeated this mantra in my mind: "I am safe. I am whole. I am loved." What a great affirmation -- I need all the positive energy I can get!

Then, release all control of your breath -- let your belly naturally rise and fall with every inhale and exhale. You can visualize your stress, tension, or negative energy leaving your body as you exhale, and let it just float away into space.

Aaaaahhhhh.......

I just did a long savasana. It was like being in the eye of a storm, where everything is quiet and completely still. And I can't erase the fact that it truly was one of those days, but my mind is a bit fresher, my energy a bit more positive. Perhaps, despite the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, I can go to sleep peacefully, thinking about positive affirmations. Tomorrow is another day....

And tomorrow, I'll be looking out for spring blossoms. It WILL be a better day.

Global Vegetarian Cooking

I love food. Especially world food. I have had the good fortune of meeting wonderful people from different parts of the world -- Turkey, India, Lebanon, Brazil, etc -- and they all willingly share their love of food, culinary expertise, and pride in their culture. While I was living on the university campus, potluck dinners took on a new meaning. I reveled in the international flavors reminiscent of the centuries-ago spice trade. Each time I visited one of my friends, there would almost always be some amaaazing home-cooked dish in the kitchen, whatever time of day.

So you can imagine my delight when I saw this book: Global Vegetarian Cooking: Quick and Easy Recipes From Around the World (by Troth Wells) at Ten Thousand Villages, a gem of a store in O'Bryonville, Cincinnati. With recipes such as Muhamara (a Turkish dip), Harira (a Moroccan bean stew), Gibneh (an Egyptian pate) and Pilao (an Indian rice dish), I could not put the book down. The photos were equally lovely -- the photographer captured not just the food of the country, but the country's beautiful people as well.

The only thing that saddened me was that there were no recipes from the Philippines. :-( Well, hopefully there will be a 2nd edition. Hmmmm..... maybe I should write to the author? Filipino cuisine is a mixture of Spanish and Chinese heritage, combined with creativity and necessity to suit our appetites, as well as a "waste not, want not" attitude. Another interesting bit of trivia: we like to eat 5 or 6 times a day. Anyway, I started to make a mental list of Filipino vegetarian dishes.

- lumpia (similar to Chinese spring rolls)
- lumpiang ubod (vegetables in a crepe-like wrapper with a sweet, salty, sour, peanutty dipping sauce)
- adobong kangkong (sauteed garlicky leafy greens)
- white bean stew (my late grandpa says that the recipe was from his mother or grandmother-- the original Spanish-style recipe has pork and ham bones, but I've adapted it and made it vegetarian. My great great grandmother must be turning in her grave, bless her heart)
- arorosep (my dad's favorite side dish - a cold salad of seaweed, tomatoes, and onions. I love seaweed, but even this is an acquired taste for me)

Ooooh and let's not forget the sweets:
- turon: sweetened plantains and langka wrapped in a wonton-like wrapper, fried to a crisp with bits of caramelized sugar all around
- suman: sticky rice steamed with coconut milk, ginger, and sugar, wrapped in banana leaves. My grandma used to make the best suman. It's a labor intensive dish, which sadly I have not learned to make.

These have eggs and dairy, so they are not strictly vegetarian, but they are SO good.
- polvoron: like a crumbly shortbread cookie. My mom makes the best polvoron, and it's one of the special treats I get when she comes to visit. She would make a big batch and painstakingly mold and wrap each little cookie.
- bibingka: a cake made with rice flour, cooked on banana leaves over hot coals, with shredded coconut, muscovado sugar, and kesong puti -- a local cheese, a cross between goat cheese and feta cheese, but in my opinion, a cheese category in its own right

To complete the picture, imagine eating all of the above by the ocean, on large banana leaves that do double duty as a tablecloth and plates (think eco-friendly, disposable but biodegradable china) spread out on a long table, the sea breeze, and a big noisy family.

Ok, I'm homesick now....

Anyway, back to my point about the book: a must read for foodies!

World Peace Diet

Yesterday I attended a workshop by Will Tuttle, PhD, author of a new book entitled the World Peace Diet. He talked about the philosophy of veganism, a lifestyle that remains elusive for me. When 2007 began I set a goal for myself to adopt a vegan diet on most days of the week (as a baby step, knowing that 100% vegan is a HUGE commitment). I'll be the first to admit that after the first two months of 2007, I began to stray. Sure, over the years I've given up red meat, chicken, and fish... but CHEESE??? Parmigiano-reggiano, goat cheese, gouda....

Veganism, however, goes beyond food. Here's the Wikipedia definition:
"Veganism (also strict or pure vegetarianism) is a philosophy and lifestyle that seeks to exclude the use of animal derived products for food, clothing, or any other purpose.^[1][2] Vegans do not use or consume animal products of any kind.^[3] The most popular reasons for becoming a vegan are ethical commitment or moral convictions^[2] concerning animal rights, the environment, or human health, and spiritual or religious concerns.^[4][5] Of particular concern are the practices involved in factory farming and animal testing, and the intensive use of land and other resources required for animal farming."

Aside from talking about this philosophy within the context of health and the environment, Will Tuttle also framed the idea of veganism with the larger concept of spirituality, particularly in respecting the interconnectedness of all life on the planet and including all living beings in our sphere of kindness. He asserts (and this is probably an oversimplified interpretation) that peace and the sustainability of life, largely depends on our choices, especially our food. His ideas, grounded in extensive research on anthropology, the great religions, and culture, are quite powerful, and I can't even begin to repeat all of them yet. I'm still in the stage of processing everything. But this seems to be why my attempts at trying to go vegan fell through... I was not (and admittedly, still am not) in that place yet spiritually.

Spirituality is a journey, after all... it's based on experience, and the reflections, insights, and growth that results from it. I've gone on spiritual retreats in the past and experienced that "post-retreat high" that can be so common after a powerful experience... and along with that "high", feeling that I'm a completely different person and can change the world. But that "high" diminishes. Because it is unrealistic to expect a 180-degree change within a day. Meaningful change is gradual. Real change comes from learning, questioning, understanding, and accepting... then translating that into action.

But going back to the idea of "interconnectedness"...
The word "yoga" comes from the Sanskrit root word yuj, which means "to yoke" or "to join". Yoga is about union -- union with our true self, union with others and all life, and union with the divine. I'm still wrapping my brain around these concepts, because they can be interpreted on so many levels.

One on level, this sense of union brings about respect and compassion for all life. And I think this can be manifested in various ways, just depending on each person. Each of us carves out his or her own path, and there are different paths to peace. The question is, which path is the most meaningful to me? Which path do I believe in? It's always hard thinking in terms of absolutes, in terms of black and white. Life always comes in shades of gray. Thinking in terms of absolutes makes me feel stuck sometimes. Right now, I'm in a place where I think, "do whatever you can -- a little is better than nothing." As juvenile as that may sound. Maybe I'm letting myself off the hook too easily. But I think a good place to start is by being conscious of the kinds of choices I make on a daily basis.

Before I ramble too much (if I haven't already), I thought I'd post this quote, since today it really speaks to me about this concept of union and our true nature as interconnected beings:

“I had the sense that all things, the sand, the sea, the stars, the night, and I were one lung through which all of life breathed. Not only was I aware of a vast rhythm enveloping all, but I was part of it and it was part of me.” - Howard Thurman

what gives you joy?

An ongoing list...in no particular order

- my family: mom, dad, grandparents, 3 brothers, 3 sisters-in-law, and 2 nephews
adoptive families (you know who you are!)
- warm sunlight on my face
- being in the water
- pristine white sand beaches (especially in the Philippines!)
- sand between my toes
- a child's hearty giggle
- childhood memories of home
- family dinners in our crowded dining room table
- conversations that last for hours
- my nephews, Martin and Lorenzo, and future nephews and nieces - (hint, hint!)
- childhood friends and new friends
- being in nature
- an "AHA!" moment
- having coffee and endless conversations with an old friend
- bumping into a long-lost friend
- travelling
- getting lost and stumbling upon an interesting place
- capturing a moment in a photograph
- dark chocolate
- coffee
- quirky coffee shops
- tea houses, especially this one that sells a loose green tea called "Sunburst" - what a joyful name!
- reading old letters
- lazy afternoons
- music for yoga
- getting lost in a good book
- finding how you "click" with a person you just met
- the smell of my mom's hot Spanish chocolate while it's simmering on the stove
- crying during a movie (or even a TV ad)
- a clear blue sky
- pretty clouds
- a school of fish underwater
- sunrises and sunsets
- fall colors
- the perfect symmetry of a snowflake
- the indescribable green of baby leaves in the spring
- creating a new dish by playing around in the kitchen
- doing sirsasana (headstand) for the first time
- the blissful savasana at the end of a yoga practice
- having wine and candles at dinner, even if on my own
- taking a nap in a hammock
- laying on the grass
- playing with kids
- yellow labs and golden retrievers
- my job (yes, really!)
- belly laughs
- farmers' markets
- pleasant surprises
- dancing
- spontaneity
- weekend trips
- leisurely Sunday brunch
- morning sunshine
- a mind-emptying, meditative swim
- children's books
- doing something for the first time
- inspirational reading
- dreams
- fulfilling a dream
- dreaming some more