Monday musings: rest

"Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest."
- Ashleigh Brilliant

Last Thursday I started feeling a terrible headache. Thursday is my longest day as I co-teach an evening class at the university from 7-10 pm... and last Thursday I was scheduled to lead the class. I'm not sure if my headache was a result of hunger and eye fatigue or both, as I tend to not eat very well on my teaching days. And then I had to drive about 45 minutes home - so on Thursday nights, I usually get home around 11 pm. By that time, I had already taken four 200 mg Advils over the course of the day, which is highly unusual for me as it is already unusual for me to even take one.

I don't know what it is, but somehow it takes much longer for me to recover from fatigue nowadays. Gone are my Energizer bunny twenty-something days... and when Friday rolled around, I still had my headache. I could not even stand to look at my computer, or any screen for that matter. Ugh. There goes one entire day of work. (Well, at least my blog post went up, as I had scheduled it earlier in the week to publish automatically on Friday. But then my blog isn't really work, but recreation...)

So I ended up laying down and resting. And then I started feeling guilty. I don't know what's worse, stressing out while working and feeling sick, or stressing out about not working. So I tried my best to push guilty thoughts aside.  I rested. I did nothing. I even took a nap, which never happens on a weekday.

The next day, I felt much better. I needed it. I can't continue running on empty.

So this week I am hoping to regain my work momentum, and check things off my to-do list.

And tomorrow morning, I am going to see an optometrist. I'm hoping I don't need corrective lenses...

bee pollen

I've been exploring some natural supplements recently, one of which is bee pollen. I get mine from our farmer's market, and it's sourced from a local beekeeper.

 Natural News has many informative articles, such as this one (there are other articles too if you search within the Natural News website). It is mind-blowing to me how bee pollen - tiny unassuming-looking little things, are considered superfood. Here's some information from Natural News:

Bee pollen consists of 55% carbohydrates, 35% protein, 3% vitamins and minerals, 2% fatty acids, and 5% other substances. It also contains 14.2% fiber. Bee pollen contains 5 to 7 times the amino acids found in equal weights of beef, milk, eggs or cheese. It is also very high in Vitamin B-complex, which is needed in order to help the body function correctly, and several antioxidants including lycopene, selenium, beta carotene, vitamin C, and vitamin E. It also contains lecithin, which has been shown to normalize cholesterol and triglycerides, and it decreases LDL cholesterol, the "bad cholesterol," and increases HDL cholesterol, the "good cholesterol."

That's pretty impressive. In addition, it can help prevent allergies - another great bonus for this time of year. I don't have a history of having respiratory based allergies (knock on wood), but I do tend to get skin allergies in the warmer months. In fact, before I go out for a walk, I apply hydrocortisone cream on my exposed skin - but I realize I probably shouldn't do that on a regular basis. So I've been trying this bee pollen more regularly this past week. I take about a teaspoon and blend it into my fruit smoothies, but you can also add it to your cereal, granola, oatmeal, etc.

 It does have a distinct flavor, but not overpowering, especially since you would only use a small amount - and in a smoothie or mixed into granola it works out just fine.

Do any of you use bee pollen?



More on bee pollen here and here. 
Here is a local supplier of bee pollen.

~ This is not medical advice, just personal experience. ~

"push and yield"

An excerpt from one of my favorite yoga books:

"Every yoga posture involves a 'push' and a 'yield'. Pushing is an active force that moves the body further and deeper into the posture, gently exploring areas of tightness. Yielding is a passive force with which you wait and listen to the moment-to-moment feedback from your body; it's a letting go of resistance that allows the active force to be successful without being aggressive. The pushing and yielding elements occur simultaneously, as in a dance. Done properly, therefore, yoga is a matter of pushing and yielding, of 'doing' and 'not-doing,' at the same time."

- Erich Schiffman, Yoga: The Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness, p. 48

Isn't this how we should live life? To aspire for balance through pushing and yielding. We need that "push" to challenge ourselves, but we also need to know when to "yield" and let go of control.

More to learn. So much to learn.

"do it all, do it well"?

"Do it all. Do it well."

I've been struggling with this idea for a while now.

Such is the culture of work. Productivity. Performance.

But something has to give, right?

Can one really do it all and do all of them equally well?

For example: The supermom with 2 kids, a successful, fulfilling career, and time to prepare delicious, healthy meals for the family AND volunteer at her children's school activities AND participate in community life/social life AND take care of herself.

Really? Is this an accurate, realistic picture?

I'm sure there are those who do seem like they can do it all and do all of them well. But when it comes down to it, the question is... does the above person sleep??? Does the above person really take care of herself? Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally? If so, I'd love to know how these people do it. And maybe package it all up in a bottle.

I just had a productive conversation this morning and I was told that I should give myself a range for my performance. If let's say the best performance is a 10, see if I can be ok with a range of 9-10, and if I can be ok with moving in that range. It's not setting myself up for a 10 but only performing at 2 or 3, which is different. But I need to see if I can be comfortable in the range of 9-10 (or maybe 8-10, as was the suggestion...).

Because a range of 9-10 (or whatever I decide my range is) will give me room to breathe.

Hmm. Something to think about.

It's the same in an asana practice, isn't it? We challenge our bodies and minds to try certain poses and achieve that delicious stretch... but the challenge should be just enough that we can still breathe freely and comfortably, stretch safely without harming ourselves,  and have a sense of openness and lightness in our bodies. We give ourselves a range - room to have just enough challenge, but also enough comfort and steadiness in the breath. Same thing.

So I need to set a range for myself. A range that is still forgiving, a range that says, yes my work is good enough. A range that gives me space to breathe.... and space to enjoy the deliciousness of the challenge while still taking care of myself.

And maybe even a chance to sleep soundly at night.

what's your story?

The body holds stories.

The body holds memories. Just as it holds tension. The aches and pains are related to certain experiences, whether it's an injury, a stressful experience, or an important event. Where you feel the tension, tightness, or aches may change, depending on where you are right now. On your story at this moment. Our bodies hold stories, and we have to listen.

I realized, that in addition to my aches and pains in my lower back (from not knowing how to sit properly - thanks to chairs that are almost always oversized for my... ahem... petite stature), hips (from sitting A LOT at the computer for work and school), and shoulders (ditto), I also tend to hold tension in my jaw. Not good.

A little TMI: My dentist, on my last visit a month or so ago, said, "I see you've been grinding your teeth at night." She asked me if I wake up with a sore jaw and/or a headache. Or if I subconsciously tighten my jaw when I'm concentrating or when I'm tense. I told her I never paid attention to that.

(And since I AM concentrating right this second I had to draw attention to my jaw just to make sure it's relaxed.)

Now that I'm trying to be more aware, I realize that yes I do sometimes wake up with a sore jaw and a headache. And yes I tend to tighten my jaw when I'm focusing, or when under stress. The body doesn't lie.

And I have to admit, that for someone who LOVES movement - from years of gymnastics, dance, swimming, yoga, etc... I don't always have the most keen sense of body awareness when I'm not doing any of the above activities.

Which tells me... that I still have so much to learn. About self-awareness. Self-monitoring. Stress management. Easing physical tension as a way to ease mental and emotional tension. 

During a yoga practice, instructors would usually remind people to relax the jaw during savasana. Or any other pose. To relax the forehead and the space between the eyebrows. To relax the facial muscles even while in a challenging pose. To just breathe. It's something I have said myself in classes I have taught before, and it's something that I'm still reminding myself to do outside of an asana practice. To be self-aware in other areas of my life. It is a challenge, given that my story at this moment (and for the next couple of years) is one of intense pressure. Deadlines. Performance. Which makes it all the more important, so I can get through this current stage in my life with some degree of self-care and well-being.

So what's your story? What story are your muscles and bones telling you? Are you a writer with wrist issues? A chef on your feet all day? Does your back beg to be massaged after a day of lifting heavy items? Or does your heart feel heavy after listening to other people and helping them work through their problems?

What story are you holding in your body? Where in your body do you feel blocked? And how do you listen to your body?

help is on the way...

... if we know when to ask.

I'm afraid to write about this topic here on the blog, but I have some thoughts swirling around in my head.

Last night, help came in the form of melatonin. I know... I try not to just pop pills left and right, in favor of more "natural" solutions. But after many days of restless nights and interrupted sleep, my body just really, desperately needed a good night's rest.

Especially after traveling... my trip to California was absolutely wonderful but as always, I experienced my "pre-travel anxiety", in which I go over my mental lists and notes in my head about what I have to do, things I shouldn't forget, etc, etc.... and as a result I toss and turn for hours. And this is after even making physical lists with a paper and pencil. I'm not quite sure why I experience this. I've been traveling since I was little, and I think I should be used to it... but no. The night before I flew out, I tried every trick I had: breathing exercises, mantra meditation, a few down dogs and child's poses, legs up the wall... but I could not, for the life of me, quiet my mind. It may have to do with the fact that this trip wasn't exclusively a "for-pleasure" trip, but it was for a conference presentation with a little pleasure and fun squeezed in. So I had a lot to think about - to remember this and that and the other thing regarding my conference presentation. Anyway, the night before I flew out, I ended up getting only ONE HOUR of sleep. And I had to wake up at 5 am for a 7:30 am flight.

So after I got back, I decided to take 500 mcg of melatonin. And it was the best sleep I've had in A REALLY LONG TIME.

So am I going to take this every night now? I don't think so. But I realize that it's there, when I need just a little extra help. And that is ok.

Does this make me less of a yogi? Do practitioners of yoga always need to have it all together? Inner peace, inner strength, inner ____ ? 100% unshakeable calm, 24/7/365?

I think not. I find strength in knowing that I can accept help. Whether it's in the form of prayer, intentions, mantras, meditation, asanas, stress-cooking, or a conversation with a friend. Or a pill, for that matter. Because the truth is, at that moment in time, taking it helped me so that I had enough quality rest to fulfill my obligations, my purpose, at least a portion of my life's work the next day.

And that's a good thing.



*This is not, by any means, medical advice of any sort.*

yoga and writing workshop

For a few weeks now I had been looking for something to do to nurture my creativity, which has taken a backseat to work and academics for quite some time. I had been feeling quite disappointed in my dried-up creative juices. I needed something to take care of ME, but I didn't know what exactly. I knew I didn't have the time to commit to a weekend-long retreat or a vacation. I would just end up feeling guilty and stressing about all the other things I need to be doing, so I knew that wouldn't work. I wanted something that was short but sweet. Something that made me feel like I was going "away", but close enough that I didn't have to drive too far. I wanted an intimate setting with not a lot of people. So I knew what I DIDN'T want.

A couple of weeks ago, I picked up an issue of Natural Awakenings and found an article about an upcoming "Yoga and Writing Workshop". I was intrigued.

It sounded like just what I needed. Four hours long, less than a half hour drive away. Something that integrated body, mind, and spirit. A little yoga, a little meditation and reflection, and writing! I signed up that very same day. It's amazing how God/Spirit/the universe provides.

I was so glad I went! It was a beautiful fall day. The workshop was held in a quiet old building surrounded by trees. I intentionally got there early to take a walk on the grounds. Came across a weathered, wooden bench....pink wildflowers growing amidst a sea of fallen leaves... My feet sinking into the soft earth.

I stretched, breathed, wrote, and listened. I listened to my body, my breath, my thoughts. And I listened to others. We listened to each other. Fifteen strangers in a room, being present in our bodies and minds, writing, and sharing little pieces of ourselves through the written word. We all wrote, wrote, and wrote some more, in a safe space.

I realize how much writing and art enrich my life. I always wish I could do it more. I know I have realigned my priorities for the next few years until I have the letters "Ph.D." after my name. But I have to find ways to receive and take part in small doses of art every now and then. I feel much more balanced because of it.

Here is one of the poems we reflected/meditated on:

The Healing Time

Finally on my way to yes
I bump into
all the places
where I said no
to my life
all the untended wounds
the red and purple scars
those hieroglyphs of pain
carved into my skin, my bones,
those coded messages
that sent me down
the wrong street
again and again
where I find them
the old wounds
the old misdirections
and I lift them
one by one
close to my heart
and I say holy holy

- Pesha Gertler

For more information about writing workshops, click here.

favorite things

The different forms of therapy, at least in my world:

Yoga...
and taking a different perspective.

A long walk.

The sound of water.

(or better yet, being in the water... but I'll be content with just listening to the sound of it for now)

A quiet reading corner.




Music.

(A musician playing the hammered dulcimer at a street art festival in Asheville, NC)

Random affirmations.

And of course, chocolate... in various forms.

Truffles from my favorite chocolate place, French Broad Chocolate Lounge, Asheville, NC.

(take note of the little card that reads: "a sacred space for chocophiles".)

Liquid truffle - an insanely good hot chocolate - from the same chocolate heaven, French Broad Chocolate Lounge.

(don't forget the shortbread for dipping)

Gelato cake from Dojo Gelato, Cincinnati

(Chocolate cake base from Take the Cake, chocolate gelato, and Kahlua-spiked cream.)

I feel better already.

striving for balance

Whew. As you can tell from my blogging disappearance, the last month and a half has been a whirlwind.

Packing.
Moving.
Starting school... again.
Enough said.

I've come to realize that for the past couple of months, my schedule has been so packed. The summer just passed me by, and all of a sudden I noticed that the days are already getting shorter and it's officially fall. I hardly swam or hiked or walked as much the way I used to in previous summers. Those things that give me balance have been missing.

Long walks.
Journaling.
Reading for pleasure.
Being in nature.
More yoga.
More movement.
More art.

No wonder I have not been in balance lately. I've been leading quite an unhealthy lifestyle... sitting at a computer for hours on end, sleeping at 2 in the morning.

I know that this is the life I chose for myself for the next few years. This is what it is. Get ready.

Don't get me wrong. Overall, I'm in a great place in my life. I thought I was doing well where I was, but I always new that I wanted more. And I don't mean that in a material sense. I mean "more" in terms of the stuff of dreams. Being in a state of restlessness because of the need to do, and be, "more".

And now it is here. I'm in a place of new growth. New opportunity. New challenges. It's actually exciting, to be learning so much, and growing. Such a great privilege, really. And when I really think about it, I am thankful to be in this place. My friend wrote about the good things in life vs the great things in life -- and letting go of the good things so that great things can happen. Maybe this is what is taking place in my life right now.

But it comes with a price.

Sometimes I wonder, should I be this tired? I'm only 30! I should be able to keep up with everything.... right? Or am I legitimately, justifiably tired?

I have to admit, I've always been busy. I like being busy. I've always packed my life with lots of things. Even during my down-time, I find myself making random projects like... making homemade hand cream. Or getting into these crazy cooking sprees, making insane amounts of food. But even as I fill my life with all these things, I get into a state of balance. They fulfill my need to be creative. To escape from the cerebral to the tactile and kinesthetic. To keep my hands busy so I can somehow unwind and clear my head. To be in that meditative zone.

How can I bring balance back into my life, when it feels like every waking minute is accounted for? Here I am, spending a few minutes on blogging and already I'm starting to feel like I should be doing something "more important".

Ok, that's enough of being Debbie Downer for right now. Meanwhile, I'll have to end here so I can wrap up for the night... and, if I'm lucky, maybe I'll go to sleep before 2 in the morning.

Take a deep breath. Tomorrow is another day.

enjoy NOW

Here is today's "tea fortune" - what I find to be a more fun version of a fortune cookie - from the tag of a Yogi Tea bag:

"Whatever you are doing now is the most beautiful thing."

What a great reminder!

This weekend has been quite busy. I spent most of my time at home, sorting, cleaning, organizing... and somewhere in between, doing work for my online class. I'm getting a lot out of this class, but for the record, I would say it's at least 50% more work than being in a "live" class. And in all honesty, I haven't been feeling very "yogic" these days.

So I took a break and had a cup of tea. With sudden inspiration, I decided to work on a little project: hand cream!

I started with an 8-ounce tub of 100% pure shea butter from this market, for $8. I thought it was a great deal, though perhaps not the most attractive. Not that it had to be, but it was a mass of white, lumpy... stuff, for lack of a better word. However, shea butter is a really effective, natural moisturizer, and a little bit goes a long way. I work in a hospital and wash my hands so many times during the day, and in the evenings I like to cook/bake, so my hands end up feeling like the Sahara sometimes.

Anyway. I thought I could make it just a little bit more fancy with ingredients I have at home. I set up my makeshift double boiler, which is nothing more than a medium saucepan of gently simmering water reaching about an inch or so, and a heatproof bowl (I use Pyrex) that fits right on top of the saucepan, with the water not touching the bottom of the bowl.

I dumped all the shea butter into the Pyrex bowl, and let the steam from the water melt the shea butter gently. I used a spatula to break up the large lumps and stir it occasionally. Then when it was in liquid form, I added about a quarter cup (maybe a bit more...this is just a "guesstimate") of extra virgin olive oil and some extra virgin cold-pressed coconut oil. I decided to add the coconut oil because it is solid at room temperature, so I thought it would help the mixture set better.

And since I love all things lavender, I added several drops of lavender essential oil--enough for me to catch a whiff of it, but not too much that it becomes overpowering.

I breathed in the relaxing scent of lavender... aaaah.

I reflected on my "tea fortune" again.

"Whatever you are doing now is the most beautiful thing." And really, this can apply to anything - even mundane things like washing dishes, or the laundry. Ugh. I am reminded of the rising pile in my laundry basket. Okay, maybe not the laundry.

But back to my project. I just gave the mixture a gentle stir, then strained it through a fine mesh strainer (as natural shea butter may have some small dark particles in it from the nut) it as I poured it into small jars with tight-fitting lids, and placed them in the refrigerator to set.

That's how the mixture looks in liquid form, above, in the little containers. I wish I had fancier glass jars, but I happened to have those travel-size containers (probably from the dollar store).

I couldn't believe how easy it was!

I've been using it frequently today. It's lightweight, and absorbs easily into the skin... and it smells divine! I won't be using store-bought hand cream for a really long time.

Maybe next time I'll try different scents. I wonder if my bergamot essential oil would work well. Or vanilla....mmmm.

Until then, back to work...

finally, a breather...

My down-time moments don't last very long. So when they come, I savor them.

My past 2 weeks felt a bit like the "Amazing Race".
April 10-13: New Jersey, to see my dad, brother, sister-in-law, and their 3 kids.
April 13: fly to Columbus.
April 14: drive 2 1/2 hours from Columbus to Kent, OH, for a meeting from 1-3 pm, then drive 4 hours back to Cincinnati to make it in time for my class at 7 pm.
April 15-16: back to work.
April 17-19: Asheville, NC.
April 20: back to work.

Whew!

I'm not complaining through. I loved my weekend trips. I had some nice quality time with my family last Easter weekend... it was not a high-action trip; not rushed, not scheduled. It was exactly what I wanted.

My Asheville weekend was a wonderful solo road trip. I had heard lots of great things about the city, with its mix of the outdoors and a vibrant, pedestrian-friendly downtown with local restaurants and a thriving art scene.

So I made plans to go - me, my car, my GPS, my camera. The 6-hour drive was pleasant, especially since I had checked out some audiobooks from the public library, for the long drive. I stayed at a cozy, family-owned bed-and-breakfast in a quiet residential area less than a mile from downtown.

I enjoyed every minute. It was the perfect opportunity to clear my head for some big decisions coming up. It was exactly the kind of trip I needed.

Still, travelling can take its toll... I've been back for a week and I STILL have to clean my apartment, do laundry, store my winter clothes, etc etc...

After all that... it's time for some grounding. Yoga is great for that.

More to come on my Asheville trip... but until then, it's time for some Zen in my life. 

I thought this was a Zen-like photo...

taken from the North Carolina Arboretum.

To see it on my pbase website, click here.

my million-dollar question of the moment

Ok, so maybe it's not really a million-dollar question. But it's my current burning question:

How does one balance...

- a full-time job
- a part-time doctoral program
- exercise... I miss my long walks, which seem to be limited to a weekend-only event now
- yoga and meditation, and all things related to self-care
- shopping for real food (this IS important to me, you know)
- cooking real food from scratch
- keeping the apartment fairly clean and organized
- staying abreast with current events -- beyond listening to NPR for 10 minutes in the morning during my drive to work
- time with friends...especially those I haven't seen in MONTHS like this gal, and this one too.
- time to nurture my spirituality
- reading for pleasure (ok, so maybe that's pushing it)

... and at the same time, get at least 7 hours of sleep and stay somewhat sane? And do the things that feed my soul, like photography and art/culture events and baking one cake a week?

Any ideas?

Or do I really have too many irons in the fire?

investing in wellness

One of my “Take Action” steps is to invest in my well-being. I thought of listing “exercise more” as one of my action steps, and it surely is part of it… however, there are times when “exercise more” sounds more like a chore and then I think of a dozen excuses to get out of it.

I also remember that I did so much better when I was writing things down. When I was training for running, I had a piece of paper taped to my bathroom wall and I would log in my miles and cross-training sessions on it. And I’d feel proud of myself seeing my writing fill the once-empty boxes, one day at a time.

I’ve decided to do it again. Then I kept thinking of what to call it, besides an “exercise log”. Which again, makes it sound like a chore sometimes.

Instead, I’m calling it My Wellness Log.

Microsoft Publisher is a great tool. I create my own calendar, and personalize it with inspiring phrases and short-term goals. This month’s goals: “More Cardio” and “Sleep Better.”

I then write whatever I did for my wellness – whether it’s cardio exercise, yoga/stretching, or taking a nap when I need one (I usually don’t take naps, but sometimes I give in).

So far it’s going great. It reminds me to invest in my long-term health and wellness, which is definitely more than just a chore.

Thanks, J.L., for your inspiration on “focusing your energy”!

when the body says "enough is enough!"

I'm sure you've all had those caffeinated, running-around-like-a-headless-chicken kind of days.

Between working and going to school, traveling to attend and present at a conference, and just keeping up with the demands of each jam-packed day, my body finally said, "Enough." I got sick two weeks ago, and was pretty miserable in a self-imposed quarantine for a whole weekend plus the following Monday and Tuesday. And the fact that I've fallen off the exercise wagon for the past few (ok, several) weeks doesn't help my immune system one bit.

If you (or the people around you) are dropping like flies with the cold and flu, here are some remedies I swear by:

Warm saltwater. Mom and Grandma were right. At the first sign of a cold, gargle frequently with a mixture of warm water and some sea salt. This can reduce the swelling in the nasal and throat passageways (which happens when you have a cold).

Avoid dairy products. Dairy products can increase mucous production in the body. And excess mucus = breeding ground for bacteria. This is why having a cold can pave the way for a bacterial infection.

Apple cider vinegar. First thing in the morning, I mix a tablespoonful or so of unfiltered apple cider vinegar (such as Bragg's) and a couple of teaspoons of raw honey into a cup of warm water. Unfiltered apple cider vinegar soothes a sore throat, and honey has antibacterial properties. Sip slowly. This worked wonders for me, especially since I hate waking up in the morning when I have a cold and feel all this gunk in my throat (sorry to be descriptive). Another bonus? Apple cider vinegar is like a detox drink, flushing out toxins. Now that I think about it, I should drink this more often!

Vitamin C/citrus fruits. This one's a no-brainer. And of course, lots of water, hot soup, herbal tea, and plenty of rest. Mmmm speaking of citrus... I look forward to winter's blood oranges! They are almost too pretty to eat, but sooo good.


(How easily distracted I am about food. Back to the topic at hand.)

I decided to call in sick for two days. Despite my worries about falling behind my work and school schedule and my unease with the idea of "doing nothing", I was so glad I did it. My body wanted me to put those brakes on, and I listened (I learn the hard way sometimes). I think I recovered more quickly because of it.

I have to say, I think I got pretty good at the art of doing nothing.


P.S. Disclaimer: I have no medical training, and these are just "my" remedies that work for me... when in doubt, contact your physician or health care practitioner!

tea set photo by cyberlaundry

it was THAT kind of Monday morning

Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel like you only slept for an hour? I did this morning. I don't know why, but I tossed and turned last night until almost 2 am. That's even after a 5-6 mile walk and about an hour of yoga. I even had my relaxing tea ritual after dinner. As far as I know, lemon verbena tea (which I had last night - a whole teapot) contains no caffeine. So this morning, I stumbled out of bed and needed a quick energizer.

Here's my solution to hurried mornings...

Banana-Peanut Butter Smoothie

1 ripe banana, peeled and frozen
1-2 tablespoons natural peanut butter*
locally sourced raw honey**, to taste
a dash of ground cinnamon
a pinch of ground cloves
vanilla soy milk

Process the above ingredients in a blender until smooth. Smile in enjoyment. To quote this friend, it's "delicious yummy-ness."

The carbs-and-protein combination of this smoothie keeps me going through busy mornings at work and all the way till a late lunch. The cinnamon is great for keeping your blood sugar levels stable as well.

*For me it HAS to be Santa Cruz organic, creamy, light roasted peanut butter. I tried this smoothie with the "regular" roast (or I guess a darker roast?) of peanut butter and I didn't like it as much because the dark roast overpowered the subtleties of the honey and cloves. Ok, I know I sound strange, complicating the matter. It's all a matter of preference. But YES I obviously love peanut butter and I claim to be a PB connoisseur. :)
**I like the spring variety of honey, which tastes lighter than the summer varieties. YES I obviously like honey. Especially if it's from Bee Haven, one of the vendors at Findlay Market.

antidote to exhaustion

I have been SO tired recently. I don't know what it is. Low iron? Caffeine withdrawal? Slowing-down metabolism? Quarter-life crisis (or more like "approaching-thirty-crisis")? A friend of mine says that as you approach thirty, the warranty's over. I'm trying not to believe it yet. But still.... here I am, tired, tired, tired.

Not enough sleep? Not enough fresh air? Not enough exercise?

For some reason, the "not enough's" seem so hard to fix.

Except for "not enough yoga".

Several years ago when I first started practicing yoga, I had an all-or-nothing approach. But if you find yourself juggling work, school, kids, chores, etc (all that plus triathlon training like this gal), and feel that you can only stretch for 10 minutes, that's perfectly fine. A little is better than nothing.

Here are my favorite stretches, especially when all the energy I have left at the end of the day is only enough for a few stretches before bed.

Child's Pose
Get into hands and knees position, or "tabletop". Shift your hips back and rest them on your heels, bringing your head towards the floor (or bed, if that's where you are!).


Try these variations: knees together with your torso resting over your thighs; or your knees separated, with your belly resting between your thighs. Relax your head, the back of your neck, and your shoulders.

Then slide your hands forward to Puppy Pose:


I love this pose. It's a more relaxed version of Downward Facing Dog. It's great for stretching the shoulders and lengthening the spine. It's also a good variation to down dog if your wrists are tired.

Then....

Come up to hands and knees in tabletop. Your wrists are directly beneath your shoulders and your knees are about hips-width apart.
Inhale, lift your right arm up to the side, parallel to the ground.
Exhale, thread your right arm in between your left hand and your left knee, then rest your right shoulder all the way down to the floor. Your right arm is extended across the midline of your body, resting on the floor.
Feel the stretch in between your shoulder blades, and breathe. Aaaaaaahhhhh.

Come back to tabletop, then switch sides:
Inhale, lift your left arm up to the side until it's parallel to the ground.
Exhale, thread your left arm in between your right hand and your right knee, then rest your left shoulder all the way down. This time your left arm is extends past the midline of your body and rests on the floor. Breathe, exhaling to release tension in the upper back and shoulders.

Come back to tabletop, then shift your weight forward and lower your body all the way down to the floor. Position your hands in front of the shoulders, then inhale to lift the chest and shoulders up into a gentle back bend, or Sphinx Pose:Relax your shoulders away from your ears... hold for a few breaths. It's like a more relaxed version of Cobra Pose. then exhale to slowly lower chest and shoulders down. Rest here and then move back into Child's Pose to counter-stretch the back bend with a gentle forward bend.

Then move to a comfortable seated position and do your choice of a passive, restorative forward bend. Legs can be extended in front of you...but don't worry about making them perfectly straight. You can bend them as little or as much as you want to. You can even put a pillow underneath your knees if that's more comfortable, or if there's tension in your hamstrings.
If you prefer, you can bring the soles of your feet together so that your legs are in a diamond shape. Or you can bring your feet closer to your pelvis in a "butterfly" shape.

Or you can bring your legs out wide:
Lots of options for a forward bend. It's your yoga practice, so you choose! Whatever forward bend you choose, relax into it as much as possible.

As you inhale and exhale, visualize letting go of your day. Inhale: "Let..." Exhale: "Go..."
Aaaaaahhhhhh.......

Once you feel you've had enough of a stretch in a forward bend, GENTLY come out of it....you may feel a bit of an ache in your lower back after the passive stretch, so be patient with yourself. Isn't that a nice thought? How often are we patient with ourselves?

Then lower all the way to the floor.

Happy Baby (who can resist a stretch with a name like that?). This is great for opening the hips:

Legs-up-the-wall Pose
So simple, but blissful! I've fallen asleep like this, seriously.

Reclined Twist (do both sides)
Possible props: try a pillow underneath your stacked knees, or in between your knees. It will be more relaxing if both shoulders are resting on the ground, and if your knees have to be propped up to do so, then prop them up!

Think positive thoughts, like "I did my best today. Tomorrow is another day."

Drift off into sleep.

(photos from Yoga Journal and Yin Yoga websites)

If you can walk, you can dance.
If you can talk, you can sing.
If you can move, you can play.

Zimbabwe Proverb

peace and calm in the eye of the storm

Have you ever read the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst?

Well, it was one of those days. On a typical day, I'm a calm, happy person (just don't withdraw my daily dose of dark chocolate). Usually I'm able to take things in stride, and life is good. But sometimes, especially after a long bout of peace and quiet, life gives you a tidal wave.

Admittedly, I am an emotional eater. On a typical day, I make fairly healthy choices. But tonight, dinner consisted of ginger snaps and dark chocolate (thanks, Meredith!), a couple of mandarin oranges, and green tea.

And my yoga asana practice today consisted of the following:

Savasana

Yes, you read that correctly. Savasana, or corpse pose. That's it. That's the only yoga asana I did today. On other "terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days", sometimes I feel the need to run and release energy. But today was just exhausting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. So I did not want to sweat through a power yoga or a vinyasa yoga practice today; nor did I want to do even a flowing Taoist yoga practice. A long savasana was in order.

Savasana is one of the highlights of my yoga asana practice. After doing moving sequences such as sun salutations and other poses, savasana is the time for final relaxation. You just lay there, close your eyes, and breathe. It's the time for just letting go, of releasing control. Those of you who know me well, you'll say this is a departure from the other controlled areas of my life. There's no pressure to achieve anything (Again, if you know me well, this is a departure from my sometimes over-achieving self.).

But this is why savasana is so needed. Over-achieving or not, anyone can benefit from this practice. Whether you lay here for 5 minutes or 50, it can do your body and mind lots of good. In savasana, just be.

Interestingly, savasana can also be one of the most challenging asanas. Letting go can truly be challenging. Every day, we stick to schedules and commitments and exert control over our activities and choices throughout the day. Every day, we are connected to our phones and computers. Disconnecting from that can be hard, and re-connecting with yourself can be hard as well. We are constantly bombarded by thoughts. Do you find yourself going through long stretches of time in which you just can't quiet the mind? I know I do. We go through our days talking, sending emails, doing chores, surfing the Internet, watching TV. One day, it just hit me that I have 4 email accounts. Quieting the mind can be so elusive! It helps to really "set the stage" for true relaxation.

In savasana, I just lay down and use props to make myself as comfortable as possible. Using props can make a world of difference in yoga, and you can use what you already have around your house:

- a bolster or pillow to place beneath the knees, to elevate the legs slightly; this also helps those with lower back discomfort
- a blanket
- an eye pillow (I have one that is filled with seeds and dried lavender for a relaxing scent)
- soft music

Just close your eyes... allow your body to become heavy, almost like you are sinking or melting into the ground. Thoughts naturally can come into your mind, and just acknowledge them, then let them go... without really attaching to them. Sometimes, when it's extra difficult to quiet the mind, repetitive phrases (mantra) can help. In my savasana practice tonight, I repeated this mantra in my mind: "I am safe. I am whole. I am loved." What a great affirmation -- I need all the positive energy I can get!

Then, release all control of your breath -- let your belly naturally rise and fall with every inhale and exhale. You can visualize your stress, tension, or negative energy leaving your body as you exhale, and let it just float away into space.

Aaaaahhhhh.......

I just did a long savasana. It was like being in the eye of a storm, where everything is quiet and completely still. And I can't erase the fact that it truly was one of those days, but my mind is a bit fresher, my energy a bit more positive. Perhaps, despite the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, I can go to sleep peacefully, thinking about positive affirmations. Tomorrow is another day....

And tomorrow, I'll be looking out for spring blossoms. It WILL be a better day.

induldge in self-care

On March 10th, my grandmother joined her Creator. My father said it was a beautiful death... she was at home, surrounded by family. Needless to say, it was still difficult for the loved ones she left behind, even though we know that she is now at peace and no longer suffering in a physical body that was failing.

I took two days off work, to give myself time to just sit, meditate, cry, or do nothing. Typically the "doing nothing" part is hard for me to do. Not surprisingly I also got into stress-cooking mode, which fed my soul (and my friends and coworkers).

One of the best pieces of advice I heard during this time was from a dear friend of mine who said, "Just stay home and hug yourself."

It's amazing how something that sounds fairly simple can just be exactly what you need. It wasn't rocket science, but it made perfect sense.

Everyday we are bound by commitments... to family, work, school, friends. Not that this is a bad thing. But some days we just really need to indulge in "me-time"... without feeling guilty. Sometimes this modern work ethic gets in the way, and "me-time" sounds a little selfish... but then I thought, if doing self-care can make me a better person, then why not?

I actually took the "hug yourself" advice a bit further and got an hour-long massage (Thanks Elizabeth!). What a great way to spend a Friday evening and end the work-week. For the first time all week, I slept like a baby.

I started to make a mental list of "me-time" and/or equivalents of "hugging myself"... and for once I tried not to list things that involve any chocolate.

- sit in silence and practice pranayama (breathing exercises) or meditation, even for at least 10 minutes
- practice some yin yoga
- bring back my tea ritual (using a teapot, little Asian teacups, and loose tea leaves from this place ... the works) and do nothing else for at least 5 minutes while enjoying my tea
- soak in the bath with my detoxifying bath salts and calming lavender essential oil
- maybe, just maybe, get another massage (I fear that this will be quite addicting... and a pretty pricey addiction to support)

I hear my tea kettle whistling.... water's ready!

photo by Camille, 2006

self-care day

Bathe naked by moonlight.

Marry yourself first. Promise to never leave you.

Buy yourself gorgeous flowers.

Practice extravagant lounging.

Invent your life over if it doesn’t feel juicy.

Cradle your wounded places like precious babies.

Be delicious.

Eat mangoes naked. Lick the juice off your arms.

Discover your own goodness.

Smile when you feel like it.

Shout: I’m here! I’m succulent and I’m loud!

Be rare, eccentric, and original.

Describe yourself as marvelous.

SARK, Succulent Wild Woman

1997