putting myself out there, a.k.a. "being vulnerable"

I just stumbled upon this gal's blog through a friend's blog that I visit pretty regularly (I love finding new blogs this way!). In this post, she quoted:

In the Mind of God, there is a fully created image of you at your most creative, abundant and joyful. And there is a divine blueprint by which this image would take form in your life. It is not something you can make happen, but it is something you can allow to happen, by making the softening of your heart your primary goal. This is the meaning of spiritual surrender. (Marianne Williamson)


Wow... this idea of "softening your heart" - it reminds me of the work of Brene Brown (have you seen her TED talks?). There was one talk that I listened some time ago in which she talked about the idea of vulnerability, and how "vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change". Which can then lead us to what Williamson calls our "fully created image of us at our most creative, abundant and joyful".

Pretty powerful stuff. It amazes me to see the connection between what people are saying...

What amazes me even more is the truth to their words. To reach our full potential, we have to put ourselves "out there" - something I've always been hesitant to do.

It's my secret dream (well, not-so-secret now!) to write a book one day. Well, two books actually - one education-related and one would be a book of photographs with accompanying reflections/meditations. It requires putting myself out there.

My dream of starting a small food business. Again, putting myself out there.

Taking the leap to teach yoga again. Once again... it means putting myself out there. Being vulnerable.

But as Brene Brown says, vulnerability is not a bad thing. Galileo put himself in a vulnerable position to say that the earth revolves around the sun.

I went back to the times I put myself out there, allowed myself to be vulnerable. And how it felt to be in that situation. How nerve-wracking it was, and yet, how amazingly fulfilling it was. Like presenting research at a professional conference. It was scary - standing up in a room full of people, all of whom were expecting new knowledge.

I remember other times I've put myself out there in the past. It's funny how I much more of a risk-taker I was when I was younger. When I was in college, I started a small food business with my brother's then-girlfriend (now his wife). We both loved to bake. And she was good at selling. We both came up with an idea, and one Christmas started selling pastries. It was such a great experience - to have people call us and place their orders, baking long into the night, and even making our own boxes (thanks to my brother, who was then an architecture student and made us a template for our boxes!). It was by no means a large-scale venture - we probably did it for at least 2 Christmases - but the point is, we put ourselves out there. We took the risk. More importantly, it taught us lessons. And - we had a blast!

Then again... I realize, I put myself out there all the time. Like on this blog. Even all the writing I do for my academic work... and it's no wonder I get so nervous every time I compose the email to my advisors with my most recent draft attached. I feel vulnerable, because I put my mind, heart, and soul into the work, for someone else to see and judge. I feel vulnerable - there I am, staring at my computer screen, second-guessing myself and then finally taking a deep breath before I hit "send."

It is in that deep breath that I soften my heart, affirm that I've done the work, then let myself be vulnerable... and in the process let myself grow - even if it involves making mistakes or failing.

Because it is in not being vulnerable that I keep myself from being open to opportunity and challenge. And without that, how would I achieve innovation, creativity, and change?

Last year I took the lead in writing a federal grant application to develop and implement a 5-year project. It was a long shot, for sure. Here I am, an inexperienced researcher, writing an application (with the support of my advisor) for which only 9 awards were available nationally. For days and days and days I worked nonstop to put together ~250 pages of work. I put myself fully into the task, and I put myself out there. Six months later, we found out that it didn't get funded (a nice way of saying we got rejected!). But you know what? I was proud of the work, regardless. Because our goal was to innovate and create. We got 2 out of 3 really good reviews, but the 3rd review pulled our score down... but all the reviewers had some great constructive feedback to offer.

And so we are resubmitting again this year, with the feedback in mind to make a better, stronger application. We are putting ourselves out there another time -  in the hopes of innovating, creating, and changing.

How have you put yourselves out there?

~

PS: Watch Dr. Brown's talk here:

"you are good at things"

So for the past month and a half, I've been thinking about going back to teaching yoga after a LONG hiatus.

A month and a half of thinking, you think? I know. I take a while.

And I've already talked to this yoga teacher and this yoga teacher.

But I still hesitate.

Ugh. Me and my overthinking. All my "what-if's".

Going through my yoga teacher training is one of the best decisions I've ever made. Even if I haven't taught much, I still consider my training as an investment in my overall well-being. Despite all the recent controversies in the yoga world (how yoga can "hurt" you, how yoga is supposedly sexualized, yada yada yada....and if you've heard of these sensationalized topics or scandals and are discouraged from trying yoga... please, give yoga a chance), in essence it really has been a positive and transformative experience for me.

And wouldn't it be fantastic, if I can help others use yoga as a tool to enrich their own lives, however that might be to them.

But teaching scares the heck out of me.

And I've taught gymnastics.

I've taught infants and toddlers with disabilities. And preschoolers.

I've taught undergraduate and graduate students.

I've taught teachers (in my full-time profession, that is).

And in turn, they've all taught me, and my life is better because of it.

It's still scary.

Granted, I know for a fact that I need to revisit my anatomy studies. Teaching yoga, although it may look easy, is not just about playing Zen-like music and being all calm and collected. There's so much anatomy, alignment, and kinesthesiology that goes into it. Especially when it comes to students' safety.

But it's also largely my confidence (or lack thereof) that's stopping me.

Then I came across this funny video:



(I think my favorite one is the guy who said he's good at subtly letting other people know that they have something stuck between their teeth.)

Reminder: We're all good at things.

So... step 1: Prepare my yoga teaching resume.

Step 2: Review my anatomy books.

Step 3: MAKE.THAT.PHONE CALL!!!!!

Enjoy the video, and tell me which one is your favorite! And lastly... what unique/quirky things are you good at?


~


PS:
In case you are interested...
I like this response to the yoga-is-dangerous controversy, and this one too..
And here is a response to the "sexy" yoga video.

Monday musings: self pep talk

So I've had a fairly tough weekend and Monday so far. Ok, pardon me while I rant about my first-world problems.

I've been writing, writing, writing a manuscript for hopeful publication and it's been quite a process. Just when I think that my draft is ready, my advisor thinks that I have some pretty significant re-organizing to do. True enough, sometimes things make sense to me in a certain way and I write accordingly; but my organization and logic may not make the most sense to readers. And writing is communicating. So I've been back to the drawing board; cutting out sections of writing entirely (but saving elsewhere so I don't panic later in case I need the information), re-organizing, and doing additional research.

Another colleague and I submitted a manuscript several months ago only to get rejected due to some flaws in our research design. 

Seriously, how does anyone get published? It really is such a complex process that starts about 1-2 (or more) years before finally getting published, if you get there. We worked so hard on planning and carrying out our research - and granted we've had to make some design changes due to extenuating circumstances (as such, the less-than-stellar design). But when you are doing research with human participants and especially children, there are variables that are difficult to control. But we ended up carrying out the research as far as we could anyway. Then we wrote a manuscript, went through 154,762 rounds of edits (ok, an exaggeration), submitted it to a publication last fall, and after waiting 6 months, got rejected. Granted, reviewers did suggest another outlet for publication that would be a better fit - which means we need to re-write (again) following a different format to suit a different publication, go through another 45,947 rounds of edits, submit to the publication, and wait. Again. With chronic lower back pain and shoulder tension from sitting at a computer all day.

So anyway, I've been working on another manuscript in tandem (because time is of the essence, we always have to have projects in the hopper) and I'm feeling pretty discouraged. Sometimes I can't help it and the Negative Nancy part of myself just says, "this is just so hard."

I was definitely in need of a self pep talk. And then I came across this video, which fit the bill. It has gone viral already, but I thought I'd re-post here. I couldn't stop laughing.



After almost a minute of laughing, I think I'm ready to get back to work. Hope this helps you get through your Monday as well!

"I can do anything good..." (repeat 10x every hour of writing, ideally while doing a happy dance in front of a mirror)


What do you do for when you need to give yourself a pep talk?

balance and nourishment

I've started to feel overwhelmed lately.

I sat down and listed my to-do's for the next 6 months and the rest of the year and I almost went into a semi-panic, looking at my list of at least 5 big projects, all of which have to do with my academic life.

So I got up and made some soup.

(Recipe to follow later... it was REALLY good, by the way).

But such is my defense mechanism. Cooking and creating soothe my nerves, and provide me with some grounding and centering. An opportunity to breathe.

Then I went back to work.

Before I go on, I have a feeling that this will be a long blog post. I've been doing a lot of introspection lately... mostly on my professional/academic life. It must be because I've been working on my academic portfolio for the past several days. But anyway...

In thinking about my defense mechanism/stress relief (a.k.a. my compulsive, I-have-to-do-it-now stress-cooking sprees), I went back to thinking about my word for this year. In my journal, I wrote that the word I want to encapsulate 2011 to be BALANCE/BALANCED. Last year (2010) was about COURAGE and INSPIRATION, to tackle the many challenges ahead. 2009 was about TAKING ACTION, because it was a year of opportunity, decision-making, and transitions. I do like thinking of my big words for the year.

But I was led to think about how I want to achieve BALANCE: a BALANCED state of mind, body, and soul.

Why BALANCE? I started thinking about how I love balancing poses.

Tree pose, New Hampshire, Summer 2006

photo by Dad

Tree pose, Maryland, Fall 2008

photo by Minnie

I do love balancing poses. I don't mean that I never fall out of them -- I do, just depending on the day -- but I still love them. Maybe it's my dominant vata dosha in my personality in need of grounding, or my childhood gymnastics aspirations. I love all the elements that make up a balancing pose like tree or half-moon, or my favorite, dancer pose.

Dancer pose, Cincinnati, Summer 2006

photo by Jen

Dancer pose, Cleveland, Winter 2010

 

The centering of focus, the attention to the breath, the feeling of strength and stillness coming from deep in your core. The feeling of integration: integration of breath, mind, and body, the integration of subtle movement and peaceful stillness. The integration of process/effort and form/outcome, no matter what the outcome is -- whether it's gracefully achieving the pose you sought out to do, or modifying it, or falling out of it...gracefully, or not. It's all ok.

In my senior year of college, my best friend of 20+ years wrote these words to describe me: "a pillar of quiet strength." Words I hold very dearly. When I feel good in an asana practice, when I feel in tune with my body and mind, that is how it feels: Quiet strength.

So how do I take these lessons of balance and integration into my life?

To do that, I didn't set out to make a list of new year's resolutions in the manner of writing "things" to do. I didn't want to make a list of to-do's, only to abandon them by February. I find that I'm constantly reflecting, planning, and re-evaluating my choices throughout the year anyway. So instead, I wrote first about the things that throw me off balance:

• Poor sleeping habits
• Not enough vegetables
• Not enough movement, or too much
• Not enough sunshine and fresh air
• Not enough creativity
• Not enough quiet time
• Not enough community...and by that I don't necessarily mean always being part of an organized, structured group... but to me it could mean an enjoyable conversation with one person, a few persons, or several
• Not enough chocolate (I know, I know.... *wink*)

Ironically, in this day and age of gadgets and gizmos and technology in all shapes, sizes, and forms, all the things that I need for balance are really just basic things. Well, almost, depending on how you classify chocolate. :)

So how do I address those things that throw me off balance? Instead of writing a list of WHAT to do, I wrote about the HOW. How I'm going to do things, and how I'm not going to do things.

I came up with this list:

• To do, not overdo.
• To strive for excellence, not perfection.
• To nourish and be nourished.

The words NOURISH and BE NOURISHED leaped out of the page. I suddenly remembered that the words "Nourish your life" were on my vision board which I created in 2008.

It's funny how words come back. It must mean something.

I reflected on the words some more, thinking about how they are, or can be at work in my life. Nourish your life. Nourish. Be nourished.

So it's no secret that I love, love, LOVE to cook...

 (Joy in the kitchen... bad hair day and all :) My brother took this surprise photo of me while I was preparing food for my 28th birthday dinner.)

And I love, love, LOVE to eat...

(Cutting into my flourless chocolate cake (thanks to this friend) on my 28th birthday, which was in... gulp... 2007. This was an evening of pure joy.)

...because cooking nourishes others, as it does myself. I love it when I make a great dish, unplanned, out of random ingredients I have in the pantry and refrigerator. I love it when I revise others' recipes and make it to my own liking. I love the ease in cooking, the slowness of it. The simplicity, or complexity of a dish, to suit your mood. The creativity of improvisation. The act of waiting, the element of anticipation and surprise. The combination of artfulness and precision of technique (ok, so I felt like an impostor saying that, not being professionally trained...) that results in a pretty baked treat. The memories attached to certain kinds of food. Yes, I fully attest to being an emotional eater... and I will assert that being an emotional eater -- in the way I described above -- is not necessarily a bad thing. I've said over and over again how being in the kitchen is therapy for me. And I love sharing this joyful experience by sharing a meal with a friend, or a few, or a big group... or gifting someone with homemade treats.

But more than that, I'm thinking of nourishment beyond the physical sense. Thinking about how I can nourish and be nourished in my academic life, my work life, my personal life. I think that is how I can achieve balance and be balanced.

And I realize....

To nourish someone else's learning, I need to nourish my own. I was trained as an early childhood educator, and in my years of teaching I have always felt the need to find ways to re-energize myself, to refill my cup, so to speak, so that I can face the next day and give my renewed energy. I've always found teaching not just physically or mentally challenging, but emotionally challenging as well... especially when working with special populations of children and families. I learned, though experience, that I need to prevent myself from being emotionally burned out so that I can still be effective as a teacher. Now, I am no longer working with children directly, but I am teaching adults. Being new to the world of college teaching, I am constantly second-guessing myself. Did I do enough? Did I communicate effectively? Did I model the same level of preparedness and professionalism as I expect from students? Did I evaluate students' work fairly? Did I support students' learning? Was I flexible enough to respond to students' needs, while still remaining consistent in my expectations? Did I share at least one thing that will make an impact on their professional lives? And most importantly: Did I honor each student's self-esteem and personhood?

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, as I usually am. It's still a work in progress. I understand that this is a growing process. Instead, I am finding ways to nourish my own learning and growth. Whether it's doing research on effective teaching practices (yes... nerdy, I know... but such is the life in academia), or reflecting on my teaching. Whether it's talking to a peer going through the same experiences, or seeking mentoring from someone more experienced than I. I realize that all these are sources of nourishment.

To nourish someone else's spirit, I need to nourish my own. To exercise love and compassion toward others, I need to practice those same qualities towards myself. That means...

• To do, not overdo (yes, I said it again... I think I need to constantly repeat these words to myself. Stubborn me.).
• To work hard, and rest well
• To set high standards for myself, while being gentle and forgiving towards mistakes
• To learn from mistakes, and also reward myself for a job well done
• To set my own standards based on what I value as important, meaningful, and nourishing to myself and others. This is, and will be, a big challenge... because I am at a phase in my professional life in which it's all about meeting external standards and satisfying other people's expectations to get through. It is a PhD program, after all. I obviously need to think about this one some more...
• To immerse myself 100% in the process, but practice acceptance and non-attachment toward the results. In yogic/Sanskrit terminology, non-attachment is "vairagya". Oooh... that will be another challenge. I will have to remember the lessons from my asana practice of balancing poses: focused practice in the process, but acceptance and non-attachment towards the outcome.
• To be generous of my time and my gifts, while allowing myself time and opportunities to give "gifts" to myself. Not material gifts, but time for activities like writing/journaling/reflecting, time for movement and meditation, and time for art and creativity.

So, the big words for 2011: BALANCE and NOURISHMENT. Let's see how this year unfolds...

authenticity

I've been reflecting on this notion of authenticity. My reading has led me to the work of Dr. Brene Brown, an author, speaker, and research professor who studies vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. Here are her big questions:

"How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to recognize that we are enough – that we are worthy of love, belonging, and joy?" (http://www.brenebrown.com/welcome)

Wow. After writing a blog post a few months ago on using a mantra "I am enough" to reduce my anxiety and worry, I got goosebumps after reading that question.  Someone is actually studying this? And not just studying it, but writing and speaking about it? I felt this sudden realization that I am not alone in my ramblings. I felt a sudden sense of connection. It was like Dr. Brown was speaking directly to me. Because the reality I believe is that we are all somehow connected within our personal journeys. It's what makes us human.

I also viewed her TED conference video on vulnerability and authenticity. Her talk was so heartfelt and insightful, yet lighthearted and funny. The last slide in her presentation brought tears to my eyes. Watch it here:

In her website I came across this postcard of writings by Dr. Brown. It was like a personal message. A friend of mine calls it "God Winks".

You can download your Authenticity 4x6 card (for free) from Brene Brown's website. Click here!

Some thoughts I will be thinking about before the new year...

• How do I define and practice authenticity in my own life? 
• How can I balance being authentic AND productive (i.e., in my work)? Can these two qualities work together compatibly?
• How can I be most authentic in my relationships with others? In my inner/spiritual life? In my professional life? 
• How do I let myself be vulnerable, so that I can also be compassionate to myself and others?

Happy New Year everyone! Here's to our own journeys towards our most authentic selves in 2011.

birthday yoga!

I have to admit that I am not the biggest fan of "hot" yoga. I've tried it, but don't practice that way on a regular basis. And it has nothing to do with the yoga itself... it's just a matter of personal preference. I LOVE yoga outdoors, and if indoors, I usually prefer a room with comfortable, just-right HVAC.

But on this day, the day of my birth, I decided, why not do something different and go to a hot yoga class? And in perfect timing, I received an email from this studio, which entitled me to a free yoga class during my birthday week! The class description stated that the room would be warmed to 85 degrees. Ok, not bad... at least it wasn't a feverish temperature. So off I went, wearing the most sweat-absorbing, moisture-wicking workout top I own. Having been to this studio before,  I knew how hot it could be. So I also brought a sweat-absorbing towel and a big bottle of water to be as ready as I could for buckets of sweat.

It turned out to be a great class! The instructor led us through multiple vinyasa sequences and warrior poses/variations and balancing sequences, in a room that felt much warmer than 85 degrees (considering the full yoga room, body heat from what seemed like 30 people, each one practicing the ujjayi breath). The instructor made us work, stretch, and sweat, but also made us laugh.

There's something so primal, so cleansing, so life-affirming, about movement and breath and sweating from every single pore of my body. About getting out of my head and into my heart. I welcomed every sweaty vinyasa as a chance to celebrate life, to challenge myself while exercising patience and awareness of what my body needed and felt. Aaaahhhh... the joys of truly being in my body, moving, and feeling every movement. Each time I moved from a standing forward fold to sweep my arms up to the side and overhead to mountain pose, it was like scooping up all this wonderful energy. I couldn't help but smile in extended side angle, feeling the deliciousness of the stretch, and in dancer pose, feeling grounded yet light. I bowed into humble warrior pose with gratitude. Each lion's breath in upward dog and fish pose was so life-force-giving. Just as my mother and father gave their own life force to me on this very day years ago.

So on that note I say THANKS... for this day, for the gift of breath and movement, and to all those who gave meaning and life to my days.

Today's meditation: "May every breath I take be a prayer." (How very fitting for a birthday meditation!)

Thank you, A., for the pretty birthday flowers!

"it's just yoga."

I went to a kick-butt yoga class at this studio today. It was challenging and sweaty, yet fun and lighthearted. There were moments of complete ease and stillness, and moments of seriously trembling limbs and muscles in some tough asanas. As I was trying to keep my focus through a creative balancing sequence (which is now my new favorite) of standing split to half moon to half moon with a bind to standing up to dancer pose and back to half moon with a bind (all while balancing on the same leg), I lost my balance. Then the teacher said, "It's OK. It's just yoga."

That's such a refreshing thing to hear. In the world of career and workaholism, it's easy to start taking myself too seriously. So hearing someone say, "It's OK. It's JUST yoga." is a refreshing change of pace; a reminder to lighten up, loosen up, and let go.

A dear friend wrote about "giving up the idea that things have to be so hard." This thought really makes me reflect on what I hold on to that makes things harder than they have to be, instead of letting go, trusting in my efforts, and going with the flow.

I think back at the times when I found answers or solutions when I least expected it. Like going into a challenging asana, thinking I couldn't do it, when all I needed was to come back to my breath so I could focus my mind. Or coming up with a great idea for my schoolwork during a walk, instead of while staring at a blank document on my computer screen. Or taking a short, much-needed break to remove myself from a stressful situation, and suddenly coming into clarity about what needs to be done.

I always find it amazing when that happens. There's a sense of relief in finding out the ease with which an answer comes our way when we unburden ourselves of internal pressures and judgments. This sense of "letting go" of that mindset or ideal of perfection is not an excuse to do things half-baked; it's a reminder to let go of what is weighing us down. Whether it's the idea that I HAVE TO be able to do this yoga pose, or the idea that who I am is tied to a grade I receive on a paper. IT'S OK. "It's just ____." I am not that important for the the world to stop turning if I don't achieve this pose, or if I miss a few points on a school paper (and seriously, there are MUCH bigger problems in the world.).

So I remind myself to lighten up, loosen up, and let go.

And in today's yoga class, when I tried that same sequence a second time, I let go of expectation and judgment, and instead focused on just breathing and being present. Then I felt light enough to soar in that balancing asana sequence.

It felt awesome.

overcoming self-doubt

Moments of self-doubt... aaaah, the bane of my existence. The energy-consuming, stress-producing, sleep-depriving Beast.

I just went through one of those moments a few days ago. And as though the universe heard me, I came across this yogini's blog post, which was a great comfort. And I revisited an old blog entry, in which I quoted Joseph Campbell's words about following your bliss. Just what I needed.

I read more of his work, and came across this:

"Now, I came to this idea of bliss because in Sanskrit, which is the great spiritual language of the world, there are three terms that represent the brink, the jumping-off place to the ocean of transcendence: sat-chit-ananda. The word 'Sat' means being. 'Chit' means consciousness. 'Ananda' means bliss or rapture. I thought, 'I don't know whether my consciousness is proper consciousness or not; I don't know whether what I know of my being is proper being or not; but I do know where my rapture is. So let me hang on to rapture, and that will bring me both my consciousness and my being.' I think it worked." - Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

So I too will be holding on to that which brings me rapture... even if sometimes I feel that I'm hanging on by a thread. 

Read more on Joseph Campbell's work here.

go big or go home

 Photo: My first skydive, taken by Start Skydiving

"Go big or go home."

I've been attending an intermediate flow yoga for the past few weeks, and this seems to be the instructor's favorite motto.

I love it though. It's all about giving your all. It's about passion.

She leads us through a challenging sequence of standing poses, and we hold warrior pose on one side throughout several variations, with 3-5 breaths per pose. Warrior I, hold. Warrior I with arms behind, hands clasped and fingers interlaced, expand chest. Bow forward into Devotional Warrior. Back to Warrior I. Warrior I to Warrior II. Warrior II to Reverse Warrior. Reverse Warrior to Extended Side Angle. Extended Side Angle with a half bind or full bind. Oh, and she might throw in Half Moon too. And yes, about 3-5 LONG breaths for each pose. Without switching sides or to the other leg in between any of those lunge poses. At one point the instructor even sat on one yogini's thigh while she was in warrior. (Thank goodness it wasn't me.)

Towards the end of this sequence, my right thigh is shaking, and finally I feel like giving up. I let out a loud "WHEW!" And she says, "Go big or go home!"

And sometimes that's all it takes - a little encouragement, a friendly push to find your edge.... then finally, we go through a vinyasa to rest in Downward Dog for about 5 breaths. I tell you, after that sequence, that Down Dog is the best Down Dog ever.

Then we switch to Warrior on the left and do the same sequence all over again.

"Go big or go home."

At the end, it feels great though. To know that I've given my all. Pushed myself to find my edge... not to be competitive with others or with myself (ok, maybe a just a little competitive with myself...), but to reach that point of a little discomfort in order to grow stronger...while recognizing that it's ok to lose my balance from my Half Moon pose. I don't have to judge myself when I fall; I just accept it. I can get back up and try again. Recognizing that someone is there to help you stretch just a little bit further - not too much, but just enough. Just enough for the challenge to be right for you at that moment. 

And isn't that what we do in life, anyway? We dream, and we dream big. We push ourselves beyond our comfort zones, to know what we're capable of. But we also forgive ourselves when we fall and make mistakes. We can accept help and support. We also accept periods of rest, and when we do, the rest is so deliciously blissful... much like the Downward Dogs after the challenging standing sequence. And in this state, we know that we are stronger for it, and that we made every moment count.

Go big or go home!



* The Yoga Journal website is a great resource for photos of yoga poses. Click here.

"every living soul is an artist"

I saw this during a visit this afternoon at this delightful, local bookshop in Cleveland. Great thoughts, aren't they?

How do you live your art? 

P.S. Sorry the photo isn't that great - it was taken with an iPhone and not a regular camera!

looking ahead

Photo credit: EyesOpenWide

Don't just go through life, grow through life. Don't just be good, be good for something and someone. Goodness heightens beauty. Become who you are, who you were meant to be. Seek out knowledge and experience. The more we see, the more we are capable of seeing. The more we do, the more we are capable of doing.

If you want to change, begin it. If you want love, give it. If you want hope, embody it. Start immediately and do it flamboyantly. Once you've begun, don't turn back. Change and growth can be painful and challenging at times, but as Lauren Bond said, "Every flower has to go through a lot of dirt."

Life is about choices, growth, and taking chances. It is about pushing through and moving forward. It is about loving courageously and not holding back. It is about finding a brighter, better way. You owe it to yourself and to the world to make the most out of the stuff that's in you.

Bloom into your incredibly, gloriously, brilliantly beautiful self. The world is waiting.

- Excerpt from Bloom, Kobi Yamada & Kristel Wills (eds.), 2006. For more info on the book, click here.

photo taken in Cincinnati on November 2009 -
thought it was an unlikely bloom during late fall

courage for new beginnings

I recently saw the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I couldn't help but be moved by this letter, written by the main character, for his daughter:

"For what it's worth, it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be...You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

tired but inspired

Here's an affirmation/meditation I got from a recent retreat:

"Never forget. You are here to be the very best you can be, to learn the most you can learn, to evolve your soul to the fullest extent possible within this lifetime."

Aaaahhhh... just what I need to regain a little bit more energy and get through my study day. "Evolve your soul." I like that.

good morning!

Saturday morning indulgence: chocolate croissant, thanks to this place.

... motivation to get out of bed.
... 5 minutes of shameless consumption, melted chocolate trickling down the chin.
... inspiration for the next great idea.

More on that later...

ed. 5.16.09: By the way, this is what the page above says:
"Seek and celebrate excellence.
Craft your vision.
Determine your measure.
Ask for what you want."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Definitely words to live by!