Wednesday, September 12, 2012

permission to rest

So I've written about my so-called "issues" about rest before, like in this post.

It couldn't have been any clearer to me how I don't give myself full permission to rest when I realized I had been putting off a FREE massage for months.

On Valentine's Day this year, A. gifted me with a gift card for a 90-minute massage at a nearby massage place. Ninety minutes, friends. He even included a tip for the massage therapist in the gift card amount so I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I set it aside, thinking, "Oh, I'll save it for when I'm really tired." Really? What's up with that?

I had been putting off ninety blissful minutes. For nearly seven months. And for what?

Last week A. finally said to me, "I don't understand why you're saving it. First of all, on the day you find yourself really tired, you probably won't be able to get an appointment on the same day. Second of all, when you're really tired again, go get another massage!"

Forgive me for my writing about all these first world "problems". But I laugh as I realized the absurdity of my thinking sometimes.

It's interesting to me how much I've invested in my professional growth, whether for my day job or my other part-time job. I've invested in yoga training and workshops. Perhaps because it has to do with "work". But when it comes to my own well-being and rest so that I can then do the work better, I haven't invested as much.

To me, massages are like a luxury. But they are also an investment in wellness. (That's me trying to convince myself.) 

So after that conversation with A., I finally called the massage place and booked my appointment. Whatever my definition of "tired" was for that day.

And last Friday, I went. Spent ninety minutes of bliss on that massage table as the therapist worked the many kinks and knots out of my upper back and shoulders.
I just might get used to this.

Because sometimes, you just need to let it all go...

Like this cute little baby right here.

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