Tuesday, February 21, 2012

be your own best friend

I had a recent conversation with a colleague, a former preschool teacher turned doctoral student. Needless to say, both of us are currently in high stress, in an environment where excellence is the bare minimum. I would guess many of you have been or are in this kind of situation, no matter your profession. My colleague and I talked about how, through our work with young children, we tend to behave in compassionate, flexible, and forgiving ways toward the children, understanding that each child can have a rough day. On the other hand, we tend to be overly critical of ourselves... when in truth, we are also allowed to have bad days. 

One day, in the course of my food blog-surfing, I chanced upon this blog and read this:

"My old therapist says that we should believe in ourselves just as much. She says that if we had a friend who doubted us as much as we, at times, doubt ourselves, we wouldn’t even speak to that person. And she’s right. Who wants to be friends with someone who undermines and second-guesses her?" (Olga Massov, Sassy Radish)

A moment of serendipity. What a great reminder, and an answer to my question in this recent post about making more positive choices. The question was: Do my thoughts reflect compassion, or perpetuate harm?

I then thought of how I've often harmed myself through my own overly critical thoughts, when I turned on my Doubting Thomas mode... when really, I should be my own best friend.

my nieces, age 3 (photo taken by my brother)

In times of stress, crisis, or great challenge, what would your best friend say to you? And could you say those positive things to yourself?

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Suzanne said...

What a great perspective for reducing or eliminating negative self-talk. Everyone needs a cheerleader and sometimes you have to be your own. Thanks for the post!

Mia said...

Thanks for your comment, Suzanne!

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